The downward spirals are always the worse. Even when things are going pretty well for a reasonable amount of time, it seems like it only makes the dips deeper. I wasn't sure I was going to make it through work today. I was counting down the minutes painfully, sulking through the end of the day. I'm lonely, homesick, depressed, starved for attention, sick of hearing how pretty my roomate is, how great her body his, all her plans w/ her new prospective boy. Each day I choke back the urge to snap and just agree w/ the new inquirer, knowing damn well she's a pretty girl, just knowing that each time I don't know if I can take it anymore. I know I've got a boy that loves me, it just kills me that I can't feel the same or at least can't have him here to try and make it the same. I hate being alone, sleeping along. I hate having no one to kiss goodnight, goodmorning, good "right now"...
I'm such a sucker...
I'm such a sucker...
It sounds like you're in a bad spot right now -- here's hoping you get a little light sometime soon.
I was actually a little afraid that I might offend you by presuming that I understood what you were going through based on a single paragraph (when I'm sure it's much more complex), but I'm glad to know that wasn't the case... or, at least, that you didn't seem offended.
Hang in there. Have faith in yourself... and if you ever want to talk to someone who's gone through some of the same things (though probably not exactly the same), feel free to stop by or send me an email.
Good luck!