beeg

I strayed from her for the first time since I've met her, last night. A mardi gras party, some mixed drinks and a beautiful roommate were all it took to knock my morals to the floor. She came over to me, on her knees and looked up at me w/ those gorgeous eyes, all dressed up in a tiny white skirt and her striped tank, hair pulled back as cute as ever. I was a goner... I pulled her close and kissed her, ran my hands down her beautiful (dressed, I again stress) body and was just blown away. Female affection for the first time in so long... and the guilt and the ecstacy are fighting in my brain. I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell Becky, especially how short lived it was (like, when her bf got back it was over...), but things have been rocky b/w us for a while now and everyone's advising me to fuck it anyhow... and it seems that my best bet anymore is to take the advice given to me (so there, fuck head, I listen...) so I'm all kindsa effed up.

I go back to SC in a couple days and that scares me crazy. I'm not sure what's gonna happen or what it's gonna be like. He's still all crazy about me, and Ican't understand for the life of me why. Part of me wishes he'd wise up and realize I'm a shit bag on the road to nowhere relationship-wise. But he doesn't.. **sigh** Boys...

Gonna go eat my spanikopita (how however you spell that shit...) Mmmmm, spinach and cheese...

**Pegasus**