Home again, home again. Jiggity Jigg.
Back in OH. Great and terrible all at the same time. I love seeing my family again. It's been forever. I've missed the friends I've seen so far terribly and I can't wait to see the ones I haven't. The long-hour family events I've done so far and the lack of people my age I've seen have been driving me a little bonkers, but overall it's been nice. With a few exceptions...
My gf and I have been fighting alot. It's driving me insane. Sometimes it feels like she's totally crazy about me the way I am about her, other times it's like she only ever calls me for food or a ride. Can I put into words how much that hurts? She gets angry at me all the time. I hung out w/ my exgf the other night. Sure, it may not have been the best idea in the world, but there's this whole lack of trust thing that just drives me wild. Why does it feel like I'm only the gf when it's convenient to her? Why is SHE on the back burner when I'm getting to know my boything, but it doesn't matter if she's out w/ hers days in a row and never sees me/talks to me? Why is it if I do anything that she doesn't, I'm the bad guy? Why do I feel like this is totally one sided??
On a good note, my Irish Screamer. *le sigh* I don't remember the last time I felt like that. His name shows up on my phone and my eyes light up. I feel my heart skip. I talk to him for hours. I never get bored w/ him. It terrifies me to no end because we've been so careful, been so cautious. He was telling me yesterday about his nipple rings and tattoos on his legs. It's been HOW long and I haven't seen ANY of those yet! It feels so wonderful. I love that it's gone so slow. We're both falling so hard already, we don't wanna mess things up. I love that the feeling is mutual. I love hearing him tell me how much he can't wait until I'm home already. He got all kindsa drunk last night and just started spilling to me. It was kinda funny, in his inebriated rambling, but such sincerity. What a complete and total dollface <3
Suddenly, a Hercules song comes to mind. Damn you, world...
I should go for a run, but my insides are dripping out. *le sigh* I can't wait to go home...
Back in OH. Great and terrible all at the same time. I love seeing my family again. It's been forever. I've missed the friends I've seen so far terribly and I can't wait to see the ones I haven't. The long-hour family events I've done so far and the lack of people my age I've seen have been driving me a little bonkers, but overall it's been nice. With a few exceptions...
My gf and I have been fighting alot. It's driving me insane. Sometimes it feels like she's totally crazy about me the way I am about her, other times it's like she only ever calls me for food or a ride. Can I put into words how much that hurts? She gets angry at me all the time. I hung out w/ my exgf the other night. Sure, it may not have been the best idea in the world, but there's this whole lack of trust thing that just drives me wild. Why does it feel like I'm only the gf when it's convenient to her? Why is SHE on the back burner when I'm getting to know my boything, but it doesn't matter if she's out w/ hers days in a row and never sees me/talks to me? Why is it if I do anything that she doesn't, I'm the bad guy? Why do I feel like this is totally one sided??
On a good note, my Irish Screamer. *le sigh* I don't remember the last time I felt like that. His name shows up on my phone and my eyes light up. I feel my heart skip. I talk to him for hours. I never get bored w/ him. It terrifies me to no end because we've been so careful, been so cautious. He was telling me yesterday about his nipple rings and tattoos on his legs. It's been HOW long and I haven't seen ANY of those yet! It feels so wonderful. I love that it's gone so slow. We're both falling so hard already, we don't wanna mess things up. I love that the feeling is mutual. I love hearing him tell me how much he can't wait until I'm home already. He got all kindsa drunk last night and just started spilling to me. It was kinda funny, in his inebriated rambling, but such sincerity. What a complete and total dollface <3
Suddenly, a Hercules song comes to mind. Damn you, world...
I should go for a run, but my insides are dripping out. *le sigh* I can't wait to go home...
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Well Jose isn't here yet, I guess he will be in later maybe? But yep i'm here at work and it's sad cuz its such a nice day outside.