beeg

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

it's finally done. ended up changing it up a bit, not quite what i wanted, but it's pretty nifty none the less. hopefully my paperwork will be finished and '4th drink instinct' be posted by monday
(i'll be in philly all weekend)

cross your fingers, everybody. i'm not holding my breath, cuz it's my first shot, but i want it so bad.
**image removed...
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tomorrow.

gah.

tomorrow j-man's coming out. and we're doing my first ever hopeful shoot. 'martini kisses' is the name of the concept so far.

i'm so nervous i could effin' puke.

cross your fingers for me, guys. it's all i've ever wanted

gah.

photoshoot soon. maybe as early as labor day. i know i've been saying it for forever. but this time, new dude is SUPER into it and WAY more in touch.

i'm effin' psyched!

SGs: gimme tips. I'mma be way nervous!

**warning** dem's got some courage today

i'm sick and it sucks. got up some courage and took some pictures for this girl thing that i like. i'm still not where i'd like to be, buti'm feelin' better about myself. i suppose that's what's really important. i had a photographer friend of mine ask me WHY i wanted to be a suicide girl. i kinda always...
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i used to be a blog junkie. i'm still off and on the internet all the time, but i just haven't felt the need to really put anything down lately. mah hubby came back from NY, thank goddess, and life kinda went on. we got more and more broke the longer he was unemployed and shit between us just kept getting worse and worse. we...
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so mah hubby has been in new york for about a week and a half and i'm losing my mind. my exgf decided to lead me on (shame on me, i suppose) make me think we could make it work this time and then shoot me down in a foul swoop of 'my bf is the most important thing in my life' i thought this...
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i get home from work today, set on running. the past few days have been a bit mentally off and i'm desperate to shed this weight. i lay on the couch 'just a few minutes' and before i know it, an hour has passed.

the hubby & i are supposed to go to the NEX tonight for new outfits for his brothers graduation. so at...
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finally got my paperwork updated. that took WAY too long cuz i'm far too lazy, haha.

got my 'wifey' to talk to her hubby. he works at a paintball field out in chesapeake. set ideas gone crazy. they say i can use the speedball field. i'm pretty psyched. i'm gonna go check it out today or tomorrow. i can't wait. not to mention i found...
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it's been a while, but here i am. back in action. 23, married and living in my very first home.

life is kinda grand.

the little shit gets annoying, but everything works itself out. the fairytale relationships i've seen are the ones that are falling apart. we scream, we argue, we threaten bodily harm. but at the end of the day, i'm in his arms...
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so yet again, here i am rambling. i had this strange feeling come over me this morning. i'm in this relationship with a really rocky past. and where right now, everything is going fantastic, every once and a while there are little thigns that really get to me. tiny little promises that get broken that eat at my brain like a parasite. and it festers....
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