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beebop

Menifee

Member Since 2008

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Wednesday Dec 16, 2009

Dec 16, 2009
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Time for a real blog...

Looking back at 2009

This year has been full of so many ups and downs and definitely way too many disappointments...

I do feel like I have grown as a photographer, photoshoper, model, mother and a person as a whole.
I learned to forgive and forget and I learned not everyone is to be trusted. I learned that behind most of the false smiles of women lies a demon waiting to tear you down weather to make them just feel like a better person or because they're jealous of what you have. Which makes it even harder for me to want to have friendships with women... I went through so many "friends" this year it was fucking incredible... Well "friends" they we're not, only vindictive Jezebels using me like a door mat to achieve their own selfish goals. My life has been so full of stress and anxiety I just couldn't handle it anymore.

But with no regrets I try and look in a positive manner to my future with curiosity for what it holds for me. I wonder what doors will open next and what new opportunities wait for me. I have so many talents that are leading up to something great but it just seem like I just need to be patient for the right moment to strike. Maybe I'll actually make a new friend or two, who knows. I do have friends but close friends that I can visit on a regular basis are definitely hard to come by. My trust in others is definitely low at this moment but I'll really have to try to see past that and not attempt to seclude myself from the world like I've done in the past. I'm just going to move along with my life, learn from my mistakes and look forward to new opportunities and experiences, "Carpe Diem"

I do plan on doing what I can though to help my family in our goal to finally have our own place to call home. That really is the dream right there. A second car would probably have to come first but I like to dream. In reality it is possible, it's just hard to see right now especially with the holiday season being slow for my husband. Things can be AMAZING one month and the next moth, nothing... That's the biz of tattooing though, it's never a constant paycheck its all commission and even though they're idolized as rock stars but being a tattoo artist is truly a trying life. I am truly grateful that well at least be able to give my son the best Christmas we can. He may be a little naughty at times but hes a 2 year old, I can expect too much out of him. My son and husband are what makes my life complete though.

In all this year has been a giant learning experience and learn I did.

So Im look forward to this coming year with a positive attitude and with a fresh start.

I'm already coming up with new set themes and getting ready to shoot again!

SG and 2010 here I come!

lovelovelove

scorpiogray:
Sounds like a good reflection smile Good luck with what ever you pursue in 2010
Dec 16, 2009

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