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bee

upland california

SG Since 2003

Followers 6306 Following 128

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Wednesday Jun 09, 2004

Jun 9, 2004
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good mornin' SG!

i hope every one is doin' well. my back is still in pain...but i am so used to it by now. i try not to think about it. i think gettin' dat kitty was da best thing i could:ah done. she makes me so happy. even though i woke up like ten times last night cuz she was cryin'. i dont mind though. she is a baby! duh.

as of late life still feels like a huge struggle everyday. i am sure it feels that way to every one, but i needs to unload a little...

i move then i dont get to unpack then i get into this car wreck and like all my money goes to bills again! right when i get everything paid off another set of bills comes flyin' at me. WTF! i know i know ...thats life. but i f:ing hate it! i say too often 'i wish i had tons of cash!' cuz if i did i would be livin'. like makin' cloths and makin' my house all pretty for myself. and i would go back to school. right now i am tryin' to figure out how i can get back to school for design. but having a full time job, eh...its so hard. like if i dont work i cant live. i dont have parents i dont even have grand parents. i have auntie and uncle who are both poor as hell, cuz he was in a really bad wreck a few years ago and was in a coma for 6 months and has never been able to work since.

its like i grew up in a poor white family. and even if i wanted to go get a loan i couldnt...no co-signer. i gots no one! fer real. and all i want for once in my life is to not have to worry about paying the rent or the food bills. i have been on my own since i was 16. and i am 21. i feel like i didnt get a chance! i dont ever spend money...ever! i dont ever get to go to shows(unless they are free) and i cant ever aford a day off. these things just add up after a while!

its hard when you know what you want and you cant do anything about it...and when you meet people who are going to school and have people in their lives helpin' out and they dont even KNOW! the dont know what they want and they dont understand
JUST HOW LUCKY THEY ARE! i would kill for parents who knew i was alive and who would help me. i would do anything to get back into design school. i feel like i missed out, and i dont want to let this pass me by.

*shrug* whatever

'i just dont know what ta do with myself...'

til i do... rawk on peps! and thank the people in your life that hold you high! cuz the people who believe in me in my life...YOU MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!

thanks for readin' was a bit long, eh? sorry kids.
-bEe
VIEW 25 of 55 COMMENTS
foolycooly:
Thank you gorgeous, for sharing your pain.

Just remember those who have to work at life appreciate it more and will always make the most of opportunities they are given.

For those who have always had it good, to them life will never feel as good, as yours will when everything finally falls into place for you.

What is a sunny day if every day is sunny?
Jun 20, 2004
jena:
i am wearing an Asian themed corset too in my profile pic as well in my journal today......what is the Asian thing/theme going on this month? i did modeling for it but can't recall. frown well thank you for your alarmingly bee-utiful set anyways. miao!!
Jun 20, 2004

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