bedwelld

180

Have you ever had your life do a 180 degree turn in one monent? Mine just did, from cloud 9 to the dumps in about a 30 minute span. It's my fault really, I should know by now my place in life. In the old days this would call for some heavy drinking, punching a few holes in walls and end it with some good old fashion sobbing. Not crying but sobbing, where you have snot coming out of your nose and you really don't speak you just kinda mumble.

Now I guess I'll just swallow it down and continue to go on about my business. With age you learn that all that other stuff doesn't really help, maybe for a few minutes but the pain is still there. You can feel it in your throat and stomach just hanging out there letting you know how shitty everything is. You feel like things can't get any worse, that you don't deserve it.

With time most wounds heal. How much time is the question, it depends on the depths of the emotion. This one is going to take awhile. It's not like I haven't gotten through it before and I will again but those thoughts aren't helping me right now.