bedheadchicken

Did you know that a baby whale is called a calf? Isn't that strange?

A baby swan is a flapper. A baby goat, of course, is a kid. A baby fish is called a fry. huh? A baby beaver is called a kitten. What?

It gets stranger. A group of alligators is officially called a congregation, which I think is funny. A group of apes...
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It's a rainy Sunday and I'm doing nothing all day. I'm going to see "Hamlet" in Central Park tonight so I'm hoping the rain ends.

I went to the Mermaid Parade in Coney Island yesterday. It's really fun. It's such a freakshow. It's one of those things that can only exist in Coney Island and New Orleans. Which is why I love those two places...
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If I hear the term "cougar" in reference to a woman over the age of 35 who has sex ONE more time I'm gonna scream.

We're a nation of infants.

that's all I have to say today.

So I get this call on Friday from this girl Jen who I know. Jen lives in PA but she was gonna be in NY for the night. She was going to a birthday party in Williamsburg or something and asked me to stop by. I didn't really want to go (because I'm lazy) but Jen is one of those people who I keep saying...
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I was helping my friend Rachel move on Sunday. First of all let me tell you that asking someone to help you move is the ULTIMATE favor you can ask. I don't think asking someone to bring your child to term in some sort of in vitro fertilization program is as big a favor as asking someone to help you move. It's a major pain...
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I'm obsessed with names lately. More specifically I'm obsessed with how unimaginative we all are in naming both people and places. I love the fact that we're all named Michael or Chris or Jennifer or Susan or whatever. I love that we all pick out of a fishbowl of names that have been used again and again and again.

And I love that pilgrims got...
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I was just out for a kind of Sunday morning walk listening to my Rachel Madow podcast. I walked around my town for a while and I was walking down the main street when a guy in a suit walks past me rather briskly and with purpose. A half a block later I see a woman looking all disheveled, like she slept in her clothes....
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So last night I was driving home from work and I pull over at a gas station down the block from me because I was long past "Empty". In NJ we don't pump the gas ourselves, so I say "Fill it up regular, please" to the guy there and start texting a friend.

Outside my car I hear "Fucking make me stand here in the...
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I'm sure you've all heard or read "The Speech" by now. I'm talking about Obama's speech on race, of course. And no matter what you think about Obama, this was a nuanced, adult, challenging speech. Obama looked America in the eye and asked it to look at an issue soberly and like a grown up.

That, of course, was a mistake.

Nice try, but America...
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Nobody noticed my oscar gown at all. There were no mentions in the press this morning. I'm very upset.