beckyuill

"We're like Peer Gynt, in Ibsen's play, going through life peeling away its layers like the skin of some infinite onion, one vision supplanted by another & each--for a little while, at least--looking like reality."

--Clive Barker

I think (in my humble opinion) a lot of trouble comes from when people lose perspective. And i notice you lose perspective when you get too close to something or someone. its a double edged sword, see. when you care, love... when you believe in someone, when you are concerned for them, you become different. And you lose perspective.

Looking objectively from the outside in, is also bittersweet. You have the ability to act as an adviser and you are listened to---because why? you aren't close to the problem at hand. you have no veil over your eyes and are clear headed. whereas the one needing the shoulder probably loves and is losing sight of right and wrong because of it. Losing perspective. Its inevitable. Beautiful and ugly all at once.

So then which side is better to be on? do you intentionally let yourself in and be swept away knowing you WILL for definite have cloudy eyes and lose sight of reality? or do you stay distant... far away from the pain & pleasure. guarding yourself and your powerful judgement so that you don't lose your footing like before...?

When we lose perspective, problems occur. One's we aren't bothered with thinking about at first. If things go sour, we feel as though the strong boulders we were standing high and proud on top of, have disintegrated into grains of sand & pebbles and we start to fall.....

I have yet to find someone who hasn't lost their perspective and still maintained their closeness with whatever or whoever. choices are blurred, your words are hollow.... your actions, questionable.

I can say I know only a small handful of genuine people. when i say genuine, i mean a person that can stand on their own two feet even on pebbles on a downhill slope. people that don't cave in and bend when others want them to, to me that is unattractive, unbecoming, and very sad. I wish i knew more. The people i admire are them and have been them all their lives. they are secure with 2 loved ones in their life---they are secure with 2000. either way they know their place. and to know your place is a gift. to realize you are NOT important to everyone. i suppose thats what makes it so empowering and warm when you find you are indeed, important to someone. And you can tell when you are. Lets forget about the ones that talk and talk and they mean only 1% of what they say.... i smile and nod but i won't miss them when they're gone. what is there to miss?

Missing. Missing people. Now there's a sad point of fact. its the loneliness and despair that transcends the comforts and consoling from our peers and our family. why though? when we know at the end of it all, there is loss. The fool looks at the finger that points to the sky, my friends.

Ok, that was me being deep. this is a place i can get to with a beer and a spa. i love it. im not always laughing and being obnoxious.... sometimes i can carry quite the conversation if the time comes

i hope i didnt freak anyone out





And i like these songs/lyrics by Killswitch Engage. beautiful...... wouldn't you like to dedicate these songs to someone?
THE ELEMENT OF ONE

......Breathe me in......
Torn disbelieving separation
I close my eyes to see you
this is for you, everything I am
this is for you, take it from me
torn disbelieving separation
I close my eyes
but there is no escaping this
this is for you, everything I am
this is for you, take it from me
in your arms in your soul
I will be rejuvenation

CHORUS: Breathe me in, I'm forever
deep within, I'm eternal

I will return to you
I am with you always
And I will never turn away from you

THE ROSE OF SHARYN

Numb,and broken, Here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
Hoping, praying that I'll find a way to turn back time,
can not turn back time

What would I give to behold
the smile, the face of love
You never left me, the rising sun will always speak your name

Numb, and broken, here I stand alone
Wondering what were the last words I said to you
It won't be long we'll meet again

What would I give to behold
the smile, the face of love
You never left me, the rising sun will always speak your name

It won't be long we'll meet again, your memory is never passing
It won't be long we'll meet again, my love for you is ever lasting

I morn for those who never knew you
I morn for those who never knew you

It won't be long we'll meet again, your memory is never passing
It won't be long we'll meet again, my love for you is ever lasting
.......................................
And i'm going to end on the many faces of me (and some others i threw in) because i think i'll exploit my phone pics. why? why be vain? its fun sometimes.



















^^ show off! stealin' my thunder! awesome piece(s)