This topic definitely got me thinking, thanks @rambo & @missy !!
Sorry I haven't written lately. Its just been a pile of negativity in my life for the last few months.
I feel like this is a question I ask myself every day. Not exactly what I want to be remembered for, but if I left something behind that people would remember me for. Day to day, I spend sitting around, thinking, and wondering, if I’ve done anything that someone will remember me for. I have very few friends and I spend a lot of time locked up in my room. Those who I very rarely let into my life, I try to take care of.
I spend a lot of money helping people and getting their shit together. I’ve put myself in debt for others. I go out of my way to make sure people were comfortable in my space almost all my life. I’ve given so much, I
feel like people are sick of it. Money is so trivial to the world. I just hope someday people see how much I helped. That all I ever did was want to make the world a better place. I’m only 21 but I feel like I’ve already screwed myself so much, and strayed so far from my life goals. I feel like getting back on track with doing what I really want to do in my life, is thousands of years away.
One day I want to have a couple acres of cannabis somewhere in the middle of the woodlands, with my best friend and whoever I’m with at the time, if I ever manage to hold a steady relationship. It’s going to be a company that distributes everything related to cannabis. The hemp materials, and the plants. Make clothing, provided the CBD gel caps, lotions, shampoos, edibles, and everything under the sun. I’m not going to let any of the plant go to waste. I want to make sure the plant is used to its full potential.
All my life, I’ve had the luck of having helpful family members and parents. They caught me before fell in a deep hole every time. I just haven’t ever been able to repay them and it weighs on my heart so much that I have future plans of paying them all back some day. I am determined to make money and get somewhere in life because I really feel the need to give back. I’ve always said that if I ever make a million dollars, I’ll give 900,000 of it away. To everyone that once helped at a time in my life. I know they deserve it, and that’s all that matters. I have people tell me all the time that I have a strive to succeed in life and that I will. I feel like its a little pressuring and it makes me feel that all eyes are on me to pull it out of my ass. I even have a sense that maybe someday I will have created an extremely successful business, but it all seems so distant.
Maybe one day, I have the cannabis empire I’ve always dreamed about, and hopefully that’s what people will really remember me for. But for now I’ll stick to being remembered for being a good soul and generally just loving,.....
and for being such a heavy cannabis smoker. :P
