beautiful_hatred

Hey

So quitting smoking is not going well. It actually sucks more than I can explain. It is amazing something so addicting is legal. But, I understand why. My god, I am killing myself with these fucking things. But, I am determined to stop. This weekend will be the real test.

On an even sadder note. . . I just dont understand why I am so upset all of a sudden. I picked up Hailey after I picked up the tickets for "SAW". Jessica and I are going to see it a 10:10, at the City Center, incase anyone wants to come. Anyway, she just had this really upset look on her face. She said she was just tired, but I think their is more to it. Just the sight of her lately makes me want to cry. I miss her constantly, but school, work, and me being tired all the F'n time stops me from seeing her everyday like in the summer. I am ranting I know. I cant wait to get the fuck out of the parents house again. I need her all to myself for a while. Obviously I am including Jessica in the Hailey time. Hailey really likes her a lot. She always asks if she's coming over and all that good stuff. It is really cool when the three of us are together. I never really had anyone else to enjoy the time with Hailey. I can't beleive how mixed up my thoughts are. I need to cheer up. Jessica is coming over soon. She will snap me out of this. One more thing. And I have said this before. I am seriously guilty. Guilt weighs me down like bricks. Everything in my life is so great, and I cant shake this feeling. Fuck it I need to shower and watch Sponge Bob with the little one.




Jessica -------------------------> I love you

Dookiejones----------------------------->