beautiful_hatred

What Up My people?
So, I have a lot to write about, and I'm afraid I might fall asleep doing it. But anyway, I just got back from the girls house. I met her father, brother, dad's girlfriend, and DOG for the first time. Yes, I was nervous as hell. I didn't want to come of as a punk to her family. And I didn't want to the dog to bite me. I will say this . . . It went well. Her dad I talked for a good 20 minutes. No uneasy silence, or stupid things said by me. He seemed like he was interested in the talk, and it just so happens we know a lot of the same people. It really went well. Her brothers cool, and the dog didn't growl, bark or bite. He actually let me pet him. It's a big ass German Shepard if you want to paint the picture in your head. I will admit it though I almost started sweating from being a bit nervous. But I didn't let it show.
I must say, tonight meant a lot to me because she is very special. I didn't want anyting to go wrong, and it didn't. After the meet and greet we went to Starbucks at Barnes and Noble and read some tattoo mags in the childrens reading section. I wont tell you about the chair I sat in that my ass almost got stuck. Oh I guess I just did. Tonight was a short visit because I am so damn tired from last night when we hung out till about 2:30am. I wish I could have stayed longer but we live about 45 minutes from away from eachother. The whole ride home I couldn't get my mind off of her. I caught myself doing 120mph in the VW. I zoned out completely. To be honest I was thinking about her eyes at that point. They are hypnotizing. I could stare at them all damn day. So I really wanted to stay up and listen to her voice for a bit, but I had all this ----------> stuff fresh in my head and I needed to let it out. She knows I'm writing about her. I think thats why she didn't mind hanging up with me. I cant beleive I wrote this much, and I just realized I type without looking at the damn keyboard.

So check this out

My good friend Ali called me a hypocrite yesterday. She is right, and I'll explain. For the past 2 years or so I have been one miserable asshole. Huge chip on my shoulder, and a serious attitude. I also built a wall the size of the Empire State Bld. A few months ago, everything bothering me went away. Vanished. But I grew because of it and I learned who and what is important to me. But over those few years I always questioned peoples love for eachother and relationships in general. I thought it was all bullshit and without fail end up in heartache. The whole love thing especially made me -------------> This of course was because I got fucked over by a chick who I thought was important to me. I was wrong. She wasn't and she couldn't care less about me. That's a whole different story for a different day. Anyway, like I said, all that dissapeared. Not because of anything or anyone. Only myself. I spent a week thinking. That's all it took. A week of deep thought. And I was cured of all the negative shit in my head. A few months later, I meet the girl I have been dreaming about forever. I wont write the laundry list of things about her that drive me wild because I have already. From the minute we met it was right. It seemed as though we knew eachother for years.
Love at first sight
I know---------->
It's true. I see her and I get butterflies. This should happen to everybody. It's so hard to explain but I'm trying. I cant look at her and not smile. She makes me belly laugh without even trying Her eyes just take over my body and I cant move. It's crazy.

My life fell into place when I met her

Now, the whole hypocrite thing. It's true like I said. I never realized that something like this is possible. And that is why I was so miserable. I just thought it was all a bunch of B.S. And I wouldnt change anyting about who I was before and howI felt. It made me the man I am, and now I know that I have a true love.

I could write more but No one will read all of this. If they've even gotten this far. Tomorrow I get to spend hours with her. I cant F'n wait.

Jessica I love You

Rob