Hot water, I've underestimated you. Day after day I've poured you into the French press thinking only of myself, never once considering your need to be free -- and yesterday, you showed me the true meaning of freedom and reminded me how your antecedents carved out canyons, made lava into rock and so on. I've never seen a French press explode before, and I hope never to again. You'll be happy to know that I suffered first-degree burns on my left hand, left thigh and on the very tip of my Congressman, you having flown to my yoga pants as if in love. I had to run to the bathtub to allow your boreal relative to run over the affected areas for five minutes or so, and believe me, there's no more invigorating way to begin one's day that by running ice fucking cold water on one's balls.
In any case, I think we understand each other now. I'll be more respectful of your wants and desires when making my daily coffee. And from this point on, whenever someone says "So-and-so is in pretty hot water," my cock will feel something like empathy. Ask any bloke and he'll tell you that doesn't happen often.
Hope you're ok now!