My subscription here ends July 28. I'm not sure I'll be coming back.
My birthday is coming up - July 14... lets have a party or something. It'd make me feel good, considering I don't know anyone in town anymore...
Man I wish I could figure things out. I'm getting so fucking sick of waking up without any purpose. Taking the car out to go somewhere, but really going nowhere at all. Wasting my thinning amounts of money on useless bullshit that wont solve the larger problems in my life. I'm tired of waking up alone.
I'm tired of falling in love with every single girl that I make eye contact with. I'm tired of sitting around waiting for things to happen knowing full well nothing will happen, and somehow I can't conjur the wit, intellegence, or charisma to carry myself as well as I'd like to be.
I'm tired of writing in this journal. I'm tired of pretending someones out there because I'm too smart for that. I conceal myself because of my insecurities, but my intelligence fights back with reason and rationality.
i must really enjoy putting myself through all this.
i miss luuuuuuuuuurve
btw, new hair:
My birthday is coming up - July 14... lets have a party or something. It'd make me feel good, considering I don't know anyone in town anymore...
Man I wish I could figure things out. I'm getting so fucking sick of waking up without any purpose. Taking the car out to go somewhere, but really going nowhere at all. Wasting my thinning amounts of money on useless bullshit that wont solve the larger problems in my life. I'm tired of waking up alone.
I'm tired of falling in love with every single girl that I make eye contact with. I'm tired of sitting around waiting for things to happen knowing full well nothing will happen, and somehow I can't conjur the wit, intellegence, or charisma to carry myself as well as I'd like to be.
I'm tired of writing in this journal. I'm tired of pretending someones out there because I'm too smart for that. I conceal myself because of my insecurities, but my intelligence fights back with reason and rationality.
i must really enjoy putting myself through all this.
i miss luuuuuuuuuurve
btw, new hair:
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cheer up, dear.
You don't sound like a shitty or incapable person, you just want something else out of life is all it seems, I'd say stop beating yourself up over it. You don't lack wit, intelligence or charisma, it's just a matter of confidence. It's totally cliche, but true: If you see something in yourself, and take a little pride in it, others will start to see it and appreciate it too.
I'd say if at all possible, try not to worry about the girl thing, those particular creatures have a knack for complicating the male psyche without even trying. Just find out what makes you happy on your own first.
Fucking transitional periods, they bite hard , but everything is temporary