sometimes when i get on the freeway i wish i could drive forever to someplace ive never been and do things I'll never accomplish in this lifetime.
its feels like so many daily efforts are becoming more and more futile towards whatever purpose I intend to fulfill here.
i find myself writing about dreams i never had and listening to music that wasnt written for me.
im assigning attributes to myself that dont belong to me, and i think its making me worse.
i feel like the world is moving on without me - as if im sitting alone in a field looking up at the sky just so i can watch stars die.
its feels like so many daily efforts are becoming more and more futile towards whatever purpose I intend to fulfill here.
i find myself writing about dreams i never had and listening to music that wasnt written for me.
im assigning attributes to myself that dont belong to me, and i think its making me worse.
i feel like the world is moving on without me - as if im sitting alone in a field looking up at the sky just so i can watch stars die.
It happened when I was passing through Vancouver on my way back to school. The road that I was walking on was one that eventually led up to Whistler.
I thought about leaving school; forgetting about the place that I hate... catching a bus up to the mountains and living paycheck to paycheck for awhile. It would have been easy too.
I wouldn't do it because there's something here that is important to me... and I can't get it until I finish my time here... no matter how much I hate this place.
In any case, I know how you feel, and I hope it gets better.