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bean

Los Angeles

Member Since 2003

Followers 393 Following 315

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Monday May 30, 2005

May 30, 2005
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Gah. I've been so incredibly bored lately. I hate being bored. It's really the worst thing in the world for me. But very few things have been interesting to me lately. I've been in a serious funk caused largely by stress that keeps me pretty much glued to the couch, staring at the ceiling. Like I said, I hate being bored; it only compounds the stress I've been feeling. It's a vicious cycle.

Few things that would normally entertain me are an option for one reason or another, and the things that are options don't sound enjoyable to me right now. Work has been stressing me out, so I haven't been working in my spare time. We've been saving money, so we haven't been going out much. I've beaten all my video games (except Call of Duty - Finest Hour, because I can't get past that damn tank level), so video games aren't an option. I know there are tons of things I could be doing: reading, running, talking to people on here, painting, coding for fun...the list goes on. For whatever reason, though, I can't muster the motivation to actually do any of those things.

This week I'm going to start alternating between walking with Shal after she gets home from work, and running in the evenings before she gets home. I'm going to. I think that will go a long way toward improving my state of mind, so that I can find the motivation to do other things as well. I have to post this here because that way there's some expectation to live up to, so I might actually do it. It's kind of like when I told a bunch of people for weeks that I was going to shave my head before prom. I'm usually pretty good at self-motivation, but sometimes I need a little semi-external kick in the ass. That said, if someone else tells me to do something, I'll resist until I decide to do it of my own accord. The external kick-in-the-ass only works when I've already said I'm going to do it.

This evening: BBQ-ing with MisterSatan & Unravled, and a host of other hooligans and ne'er-do-wells.

Last night was Bridget's going away party up in the Los Feliz neighborhood of LA. She, like so many others over the past months, is moving to NYC. And so the population rotation continues. Out of LA to NYC...Into LA from Seattle. For awhile, it seemed like the Master Plan was going to succeed, as people seemed to be moving to LA in droves, especially those Seattle kids. smile Slowly, though, our own residents started abandoning us for faraway lands like NYC and New Orleans. Probably a dozen of my friends have moved to NYC over the past couple of years. I suppose I might actually have to visit them one of these days. I keep meaning to make it out there, but I've still never been. But traveling requires cash, cash requires work, and of course, work has been causing stress. Though, I might give myself a bonus if I can wrap up this massive job that's got a lot of money tied up in it this month. I haven't taken a real vacation in over a year. Hopefully I can change that soon.

Anyhow, I'm rambling, and we have to go to the store to pick up some veggie-type-things for the BBQ.

kiss

EL SUICIDO LOCO bean!
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
rottenart:
i think it's just the complete logic void i have to deal with every day that makes me uptight. let it not be said that geoff does not enjoy a joke, dammit! wink
May 30, 2005
obd:
damnit, I failed to read about said bbq until, well, now.

exercise usually does wonders for me when I'm stressed. I'm guessing it's a body chemistry thing.

May 30, 2005

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