beaar

Lets say i was trying to date this girl i met at a halloween party. she being a dominatrix and me being tigger. well we have a great night and sit and talk and hang out alot. everything goes great. and we became great friends but always trying to hook up, though something always stopped us. plus she always has a boyfriend when i am in port, and right before i leave she gets dumped and hates boys....so i never get my chance. well this goes on for 2 or 3 years. but i keep trying, finally after her latest break up i go to sea for 6 months and my friend great girl and i have this long talk and discuss dating. at this same time madam (from the halloween party) decide to be roomies. cause she drinks alot i drink alot and she will lower my rent. so i decide to tell her about great girl and i's conversation. she doesn't take it well and goes out and gets a boyfriend. well some other bullshit happens and i realize how much of a mistake i made. madam is what i want, not great girl. so i get drunk and tell her this....madam that is. well i try to reassure her that i am not playing her second fiddle or that cause great girl has found some guy named josh, that i am trying back track get what i know i could get. well she tells me that this new is great and she is happy, except for blah blah blah and she lists off a few reasons. but still i am an asshole for putting her through all of this and she tells me about how much she likes me and blah blah blah.

so my question is how do i prove to her that she isn't my second choice, but my first choice that i made a mistake on? and how do i not appear like to much of an asshole and break them up or should i even? grrr girls are so confusing when they are sober and across the pacific ocean from me. i am not a happy pirate right now!!!!!!