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Happy fucking New Years all you Jolly Frolicking Pansies.

I'm getting wasted, going to bed at eleven, and working my muthafuckin overtime tomorrow. Sixty hours a week makes for BEAUTIFUL paychecks.

Regina... The story I was gonna tell you the other day when you called.

So I stroll into work after a WONDERFUL morning off..
High as a kite.. ready to battle my employees and their whining.. and my phone rings...

I have an assistant now (she's an idiot and is getting the axe on Tuesday, but that's another story together) so OF COURSE I didn't have to answer it.

If I did, why the hell would I have an assistant?

Anywho.. It was the Austin PD Dispatch.. wanting to speak to ME!

So I get on the phone.. and this lady is all like...

"I need you to give me the exact address you're currently at and plan to be, an officer will be on his way to ask you a few questions."

So I'm like.. What the fuck?

I think I watch way to much Law & Order and that First 48 TV show bullshit..

I start trippin.

Worst part is.. this lady doesn't even know what the hell is going on.

All she can tell me is that the officer coming to see me is a Collisions Officer.

So I'm like..

Great, Tom has my car, wrecked it, and is god-willing still alive so that I can fuck him up majorly.

I'm FREAKING OUT... HYSTERICALLY crying.. lip trembling and shit..

my assistant is shooing people away (understand, I never get a break, where I work... people always want SOMETHING)

and this dispatch bitch is two-waying the officer getting more information..

I'm hurrying her..

then it turns out..

it was for one of my employees.

My reaction?

"oh, okay.. well how can I help you?"

I mean.. it's still sad because this 18 year old kid got REAL fucked up.

The officer came and interviewed people in his training class, asked around if anyone knew a number to his next of kin..

got all his emergency contact info and birthdate from me and went on his merry way.

Basically telling me "he probably won't ever be back to work."

.. it was bad.

The Cop took a picture of the accident with his phone and showed it to me, my heart broke.

.. and today.. we we're giving out $800 dollars worth of prizes for our employees showing up to work during the holidays, and who was the first name I pulled out?

The 18-year old kid.. of course.

Life isn't fair sometimes.

Happy New Years Ya'll.

Be fucking safe.