In the spirit of complete, unadulterated bullshit, I present to you... Completely random update time!!! 
Sarah Jessica Parker:
When she started out on Sex and the City, I loved her. Then I started to hate her, because let's face it, her clothes suck. But then those Gap commercials with Lenny Kravitz came out (which I love that song now too, damn you Lenny), and I suddenly love her again. I can't help it. Make it stop. I tried to find a picture of her with less clothes. Because she's much better without clothes. And also, I'm a pervert.
Whenever I need to pee I say "I have to piss like a motherfucking racehorse." I have no idea when this started.
I've recently taken to saying "skeet skeet skeet" a la Lil' Jon at random intervals.
I say "Screw you, hippie" alllll the motherfucking time now.
I also say "motherfucking" alllll the motherfucking time now.
I bite people to win arguments. It drives my mother nuts. Especially because I "never bit people when I was little and I don't see why you're starting this now..." *ahem* So she says.
Everytime I drink pop, I burp. EVERYTIME. If I take one sip, I burp. It's not so much odd as it is creepy. And really not cute.
I talk to myself. Constantly. And I don't mean little things like "Don't forget to grab your phone on the way out the door." Or "Holy shit, she is so hot. Oh, I said that out loud. Oh, and that part too." I mean, I talk to myself. Whole conversations. Like, I drive to Springfield to see my friends from Wittenberg on occasion. It's about an hour long drive. I have been known to talk to myself the entire way. [Well, not known until now that is.] As if there was another person in the car. About how my quarter is going, a book I'm reading, a TV show/movie I watched that week, how things are going with Lucas, that kind of thing. What's even more disturbing is I'll wonder if I'm being watched, like "What must G-d be thinking right now? This crazy ass bizzo is not getting anywhere near me...."
Per the "What must G-d be thinking right now?" line above... I also believe in g-d now (QUICK! EVERYBODY RUN! I'MA GETTING ALLLLL MOTHERFUCKING SERIOUSSS!!!!)
I have no idea how/why/when this happened. Ok, so that's a lie. I'm a total liar. It's really traumatic though (it's not, I just like using the word traumatic), because I have never believed in g-d before, I've never attended church, and I don't mean like I go on the big holidays and nothing else, I mean never. But I started reading about Judaism (no, not Kabbalah, thankyouverymuch Madonna (Esther?)) like over a year ago (I have no concept of time) and I liked it and it clicked in that "Hey, I'd like to get to know you better, let's grab a cup of coffee" kind of a way. But everytime I try to go further with it, I feel just not right about it. I think maybe because it's an organised religion and that makes me wary, because no offense to anyone, but I've always been bothered by the idea of psycho bible-thumping fundamentalist Christians or really gung-ho church-going Christians and I mean, religion is still religion, right? I'm liable to get turned off by some aspect of it no matter what maybe? And then there's the idea of going for council and saying "Hi, I've never gone to church, I've never had any religion, in fact I never used to believe in g-d, but I'd like to start visiting your temple and maybe look into converting." Hell, I would laugh at me. And then there's just the whole, you know, cultural aspect and the fact that I'm, you know, not Jewish and it almost feels wrong. Like I'm stealing. Like a white kid with a jeri curl (by the way, don't do that). But at the same time, something about it feels really right to me. Not the jeri curl. I look ridiculous.
WHEEEEEEWWWWWW
I feel better. ... I mean, I don't really. But I got some of that out.
So yeah. My birthday is tomorrow. HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME.
I'll be 22 and I still have another year (at least) in school, I've done nothing important with myself, I still live at home, I drive a piece of shit car, I'm fat and out-of-shape, and I think my life probably sucks. I'm actually pretty ga'damned happy. 
Playing with the boy tomorrow. Tonight I must study for my political science test tomorrow and write a comparative studies paper for tomorrow. Yay.
Shiite, motherfuckers. I'm out.
Get some ass this weekend. I know I will.
Sarah Jessica Parker:
When she started out on Sex and the City, I loved her. Then I started to hate her, because let's face it, her clothes suck. But then those Gap commercials with Lenny Kravitz came out (which I love that song now too, damn you Lenny), and I suddenly love her again. I can't help it. Make it stop. I tried to find a picture of her with less clothes. Because she's much better without clothes. And also, I'm a pervert.
Whenever I need to pee I say "I have to piss like a motherfucking racehorse." I have no idea when this started.
I've recently taken to saying "skeet skeet skeet" a la Lil' Jon at random intervals.
I say "Screw you, hippie" alllll the motherfucking time now.
I also say "motherfucking" alllll the motherfucking time now.
I bite people to win arguments. It drives my mother nuts. Especially because I "never bit people when I was little and I don't see why you're starting this now..." *ahem* So she says.
Everytime I drink pop, I burp. EVERYTIME. If I take one sip, I burp. It's not so much odd as it is creepy. And really not cute.
I talk to myself. Constantly. And I don't mean little things like "Don't forget to grab your phone on the way out the door." Or "Holy shit, she is so hot. Oh, I said that out loud. Oh, and that part too." I mean, I talk to myself. Whole conversations. Like, I drive to Springfield to see my friends from Wittenberg on occasion. It's about an hour long drive. I have been known to talk to myself the entire way. [Well, not known until now that is.] As if there was another person in the car. About how my quarter is going, a book I'm reading, a TV show/movie I watched that week, how things are going with Lucas, that kind of thing. What's even more disturbing is I'll wonder if I'm being watched, like "What must G-d be thinking right now? This crazy ass bizzo is not getting anywhere near me...."
Per the "What must G-d be thinking right now?" line above... I also believe in g-d now (QUICK! EVERYBODY RUN! I'MA GETTING ALLLLL MOTHERFUCKING SERIOUSSS!!!!)
I have no idea how/why/when this happened. Ok, so that's a lie. I'm a total liar. It's really traumatic though (it's not, I just like using the word traumatic), because I have never believed in g-d before, I've never attended church, and I don't mean like I go on the big holidays and nothing else, I mean never. But I started reading about Judaism (no, not Kabbalah, thankyouverymuch Madonna (Esther?)) like over a year ago (I have no concept of time) and I liked it and it clicked in that "Hey, I'd like to get to know you better, let's grab a cup of coffee" kind of a way. But everytime I try to go further with it, I feel just not right about it. I think maybe because it's an organised religion and that makes me wary, because no offense to anyone, but I've always been bothered by the idea of psycho bible-thumping fundamentalist Christians or really gung-ho church-going Christians and I mean, religion is still religion, right? I'm liable to get turned off by some aspect of it no matter what maybe? And then there's the idea of going for council and saying "Hi, I've never gone to church, I've never had any religion, in fact I never used to believe in g-d, but I'd like to start visiting your temple and maybe look into converting." Hell, I would laugh at me. And then there's just the whole, you know, cultural aspect and the fact that I'm, you know, not Jewish and it almost feels wrong. Like I'm stealing. Like a white kid with a jeri curl (by the way, don't do that). But at the same time, something about it feels really right to me. Not the jeri curl. I look ridiculous.
WHEEEEEEWWWWWW
I feel better. ... I mean, I don't really. But I got some of that out.
So yeah. My birthday is tomorrow. HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY TO ME.
I'll be 22 and I still have another year (at least) in school, I've done nothing important with myself, I still live at home, I drive a piece of shit car, I'm fat and out-of-shape, and I think my life probably sucks. I'm actually pretty ga'damned happy.
Playing with the boy tomorrow. Tonight I must study for my political science test tomorrow and write a comparative studies paper for tomorrow. Yay.
Shiite, motherfuckers. I'm out.
Get some ass this weekend. I know I will.
VIEW 25 of 49 COMMENTS
johnclement:
Fantastic new avatar!
corneilus_wright:
Yea I would be pissed if my name was Banannee ...... That is clearly a transvestite pornstar name