batattak

Random thoughts:

One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is of when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I am older." You son of a bitch, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera...

I like vending machines, because snacks are better when they fall. If I buy a candy bar at the store oftentimes I will drop it, so that is achieves its maximum flavor potential.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide..."

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created.

I played golf...I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...

I went to the park and saw this kid flying a kite. The kid was really excited. I don't know why, that's what they're supposed to do. Now if he had had a chair on the other end of that string, I would have been impressed.