Ok, and now our story continues (sorry it's a day later then I promised).
Amy more or less fireman caries me out of the bedroom and into her truck. I ride the whole way there in a weird crouched position so as to keep pressure off of my back and ass. When we arrive she runs in to get help. The nurses were a bit surly before they actually saw me. But, after they saw how tore up I was they came back with a stretcher and a back board. I tell you what, I know they're a necessity for spine injuries, but they are probably the least comfortable thing for a spine injury. I am taken in, given some drugs and whisked around the hospital for x-rays and what have you. One bonus if you do fuck up your hips, cute x-ray tech ladies will repeatedly fondle your hips while trying to find the right place to take the x-rays.
The doctor finally comes back and tells me that the diagnosis is that I shattered my sacrum. The sacrum is a diamond shaped bone that hangs in between your hips and below your spine. This would explain the feeling of shitting my pants. When the bone broke my cranial-sacral fluid burst out inside of my body.
At this point there is no known damage to my spine but Kaiser (my insurance) want me to get shipped down to Denver Health (formerly known as Denver General) since that is where they send all of their trauma patients. An ambulance is on the way but they need a urine sample first. Try as I might I can't take a leak to save my life. Thus comes my first catheter of this experience (but, not my last).
The EMT's show up and are super cool. Chris doped me up real good for the ride and was very interesting to talk to on the ride down. Unfortunately I don't remember his partners name, but they were both super cool.
Upon hitting Denver Health it was like I was living an episode of ER. The whole team pounced on me and I had peeps checking everything about me they possibly could. These people were on top of their game. Very professional and very fun and funny. Since this was a lower spinal injury my swimsuit area was quite the focal point of most testing. It's nice to know that a room full of professional medical folks can still laugh when I make a joke about getting a deal for not having to pay extra for the doctor doing a rectal exam. You know, normally that's an extra $50.
I get a boatload more x-rays as well as get sent through one of those machines (EEG, EKG, KGB, I can't keep 'em all straight) and now the waiting game begins. I lay in my hospital room in a miserably uncomfortable neck brace from around midnight Wednesday into Thursday until almost 8pm on Thursday night. I am not allowed to move, eat or drink. The reason why? No one will grow a fucking pair and commit to whether I need surgery or not. Every single doctor who comes in says more or less this, "We're pretty sure that we won't have to operate, but we want to wait until ... can look at you and make that call." So, no food, no water, no movement, uncomfortable neck brace for damn near 24 hours at this location.
Shortly after I give up on the fucking neck brace and tear the sumbitch off a doctor from Orthopedics finally commits to the fact that they feel I will not need surgery. It ends up being a fairly serious fracture but not an actual "shattering" of the sacrum.
Friday is spent hanging out in the hospital and doing some physical therapy. It turns out that moving with this condition is the best thing for it. Once I'm not stuck lying on my back it is much easier for me to move around when I am lying on my tummy. Friday was a nice day, weaning myself off of morphine and get used to getting myself around.
Over all, I was in the hospital from 6pm on Wednesday night to around 12pm on Saturday. Amy was the best. I am so lucky to have her. She was with me from the beginning and only left when my dad made her come home on Friday evening so she could get some rest. I will be forever indebted to her for all the things she has done for me. My folks were there for me as they always are. I know I don't spend as much time with them as maybe I should but I know they love me and would do anything they could to help me. Thank you to all of you who called expressing your concern and offering to help out in any way. Know that I appreciate every single one of you and will do the same for you should you ever fall off of your roof.
Finally, here's a picture of the damage. Enjoy the picture of my battered ass.
Amy more or less fireman caries me out of the bedroom and into her truck. I ride the whole way there in a weird crouched position so as to keep pressure off of my back and ass. When we arrive she runs in to get help. The nurses were a bit surly before they actually saw me. But, after they saw how tore up I was they came back with a stretcher and a back board. I tell you what, I know they're a necessity for spine injuries, but they are probably the least comfortable thing for a spine injury. I am taken in, given some drugs and whisked around the hospital for x-rays and what have you. One bonus if you do fuck up your hips, cute x-ray tech ladies will repeatedly fondle your hips while trying to find the right place to take the x-rays.
The doctor finally comes back and tells me that the diagnosis is that I shattered my sacrum. The sacrum is a diamond shaped bone that hangs in between your hips and below your spine. This would explain the feeling of shitting my pants. When the bone broke my cranial-sacral fluid burst out inside of my body.
At this point there is no known damage to my spine but Kaiser (my insurance) want me to get shipped down to Denver Health (formerly known as Denver General) since that is where they send all of their trauma patients. An ambulance is on the way but they need a urine sample first. Try as I might I can't take a leak to save my life. Thus comes my first catheter of this experience (but, not my last).
The EMT's show up and are super cool. Chris doped me up real good for the ride and was very interesting to talk to on the ride down. Unfortunately I don't remember his partners name, but they were both super cool.
Upon hitting Denver Health it was like I was living an episode of ER. The whole team pounced on me and I had peeps checking everything about me they possibly could. These people were on top of their game. Very professional and very fun and funny. Since this was a lower spinal injury my swimsuit area was quite the focal point of most testing. It's nice to know that a room full of professional medical folks can still laugh when I make a joke about getting a deal for not having to pay extra for the doctor doing a rectal exam. You know, normally that's an extra $50.
I get a boatload more x-rays as well as get sent through one of those machines (EEG, EKG, KGB, I can't keep 'em all straight) and now the waiting game begins. I lay in my hospital room in a miserably uncomfortable neck brace from around midnight Wednesday into Thursday until almost 8pm on Thursday night. I am not allowed to move, eat or drink. The reason why? No one will grow a fucking pair and commit to whether I need surgery or not. Every single doctor who comes in says more or less this, "We're pretty sure that we won't have to operate, but we want to wait until ... can look at you and make that call." So, no food, no water, no movement, uncomfortable neck brace for damn near 24 hours at this location.
Shortly after I give up on the fucking neck brace and tear the sumbitch off a doctor from Orthopedics finally commits to the fact that they feel I will not need surgery. It ends up being a fairly serious fracture but not an actual "shattering" of the sacrum.
Friday is spent hanging out in the hospital and doing some physical therapy. It turns out that moving with this condition is the best thing for it. Once I'm not stuck lying on my back it is much easier for me to move around when I am lying on my tummy. Friday was a nice day, weaning myself off of morphine and get used to getting myself around.
Over all, I was in the hospital from 6pm on Wednesday night to around 12pm on Saturday. Amy was the best. I am so lucky to have her. She was with me from the beginning and only left when my dad made her come home on Friday evening so she could get some rest. I will be forever indebted to her for all the things she has done for me. My folks were there for me as they always are. I know I don't spend as much time with them as maybe I should but I know they love me and would do anything they could to help me. Thank you to all of you who called expressing your concern and offering to help out in any way. Know that I appreciate every single one of you and will do the same for you should you ever fall off of your roof.
Finally, here's a picture of the damage. Enjoy the picture of my battered ass.
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but update the dame journal. yes, you.