I COLLASPSE IN A PILE OF PUTRID,SMELLING GROSS OUT BLOGGING ON A MONDAY NIGHT.I have been in hiding from the evil monsters of doom but they seem to removing themselves from my life but still they lurk in the shadows ready to strike.
Hey COCKSUCKERS,ASS MUNCHERS,GRANNIESHAGGIES and Nobjockeys i have returned with the motherfucking blog of sarcasm which will unfold before your eyes.
ITS A MADHOUSE
A famous thrash metal song opens my blog by the almighty ANTHRAX.I have been to hell and back with my other half these past two weeks shes been up happy ,shes been rock bottom and shes been exorcist style monster Awhen she had a few sherberts.She returned to sg today and read her blog im so so proud of her for having such a positive attitude.REJOICE she might even show us her fannie again.
GARAGES AND MARRIAGES
Work kept me sane or that is insane this two weeks.I have had visions of customers lying on the floor with bits of cars stuck out of their eyeballs bleeding on the floor writhing in agony while they tell me how to do my job.My evil mind has seen all my sarcasm come shooting out in spunk loads.
I got into trouble about my new screensaver
alf hooker got new one soon he is on holiday so we sent him some big brown lurveeeeeee
MY SHIT MOBILE PHONE
My mobile phone sees the first bout of bashster sarcasm it broke again for a third time,i took it back to the shop and they say when the report comes back i can have a new one ,about time!!!!!!!!
I got a COURTESY PHONE which resembles a fucking minature baby moniter and it only rings in the presence of piss taking friends or higher management how embarassing T MOBILE GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE YOU TOSS CHEESERS!.
VANITY
London approachs i know this because chrissy had a INVERTED BOB huh and her hair dyed thus my bathroom again resembles a pink and purple splattered paint studio.Vanity for me is a goner i have recieved a glut of acne which hurts fuck me im 37 shouldn,t get spots.
Also why is it every year women have to buy a winter coat where does the coat from the last six years go does it leg it in the summer i wonder???
Answers on a postcard please???
POB CELEBRITY MEMBERSHIP
Fuck me the funniest man on tv is back for his fingerfucking,asss streching,cum guzzling second series.
I have inducted him into the POB check out his AMORE VIDEO on his my space page herehttp://www.myspace.com/mikestrutter
Hes the legendary swear and porn monster MIKE STRUTTER also have a look at STRUTTERGEAR.COM you sg motherfuckers.
Also so the barmy dirty sanchez boys i fear for my body in London.I so want to go to STRINGFELLOWs next week it would be the holy grail of pervertedness.
MOANING MOTHERFUCKERING MONDAY
At this time of the year we get so many catologs posted through the letter box asking to buy this and that hey the jevovahs witnesses came last sunday and looked a bit scared when they heard the molten metal flying out of my speakers.
The thing that pisses me off the most is this fucking annoying thing that you can,t throw away ,it sits on the top of the fridge for three weeks and then on the door step for another two weeks its the.........................................BETTERWARE MAGAZINE
This magazine has the most useless shit that no right cunt on the face of the planet would buy heres some examples
THE HAIRCATCHING BODYSUIT
Buy this amazing hair catcher which does by simply pulling over ones head and relax without fear of your golden locks hitting the floor
THE AMAZING PRIVACY SCISSORS
The amazing privacy scissors will protect you from fraud with there five blades of easy shredding power making paper useless to theives.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH what a load of bollocks i decided to rewrite these adds and i will remind you,you have togive this book back even if you don,t buy anything .I glued them inside
THE LOOK LIKE A CUNT WHILE YOUR MUM CUTS YOUR HAIR
AND
THE TIGHT FUCKERS CHEAPO SHREDDER
THE MAGAZINE HAS SINCE BEEN RECHRISTENED SHITWARE
AND FINALLY
A BIG HELLO TO MY NEW FRIENDS especially BRIGHT RED SCREAM who rocks.
The return of the sexy minx purplesiamese i prayed for her return
The lord of perverted thoughts listened my confession box is waiting caz glad your back hun
LONDON IN A FEW DAYS i fear that jennie has invited the whole fucking site which smacks me of that sweet sixteen show on mtv lol she has her head screwed on she will get more presents than paris fucking hilton.
QUICKIES
Glad meg whites sex video was a scam ,i cryed when i watched it so im so glad its false
Buy the foos lp it rocks
Bake some buns jen for your birthday cupcakes please
Halo 3 is awesome steve 7 year old whoop assing awaits
HERES TO LANDARN
I bid you goodbye
bash
Hey COCKSUCKERS,ASS MUNCHERS,GRANNIESHAGGIES and Nobjockeys i have returned with the motherfucking blog of sarcasm which will unfold before your eyes.
ITS A MADHOUSE
A famous thrash metal song opens my blog by the almighty ANTHRAX.I have been to hell and back with my other half these past two weeks shes been up happy ,shes been rock bottom and shes been exorcist style monster Awhen she had a few sherberts.She returned to sg today and read her blog im so so proud of her for having such a positive attitude.REJOICE she might even show us her fannie again.
GARAGES AND MARRIAGES
Work kept me sane or that is insane this two weeks.I have had visions of customers lying on the floor with bits of cars stuck out of their eyeballs bleeding on the floor writhing in agony while they tell me how to do my job.My evil mind has seen all my sarcasm come shooting out in spunk loads.
I got into trouble about my new screensaver
alf hooker got new one soon he is on holiday so we sent him some big brown lurveeeeeee
MY SHIT MOBILE PHONE
My mobile phone sees the first bout of bashster sarcasm it broke again for a third time,i took it back to the shop and they say when the report comes back i can have a new one ,about time!!!!!!!!
I got a COURTESY PHONE which resembles a fucking minature baby moniter and it only rings in the presence of piss taking friends or higher management how embarassing T MOBILE GIVE ME BACK MY PHONE YOU TOSS CHEESERS!.
VANITY
London approachs i know this because chrissy had a INVERTED BOB huh and her hair dyed thus my bathroom again resembles a pink and purple splattered paint studio.Vanity for me is a goner i have recieved a glut of acne which hurts fuck me im 37 shouldn,t get spots.
Also why is it every year women have to buy a winter coat where does the coat from the last six years go does it leg it in the summer i wonder???
Answers on a postcard please???
POB CELEBRITY MEMBERSHIP
Fuck me the funniest man on tv is back for his fingerfucking,asss streching,cum guzzling second series.
I have inducted him into the POB check out his AMORE VIDEO on his my space page herehttp://www.myspace.com/mikestrutter
Hes the legendary swear and porn monster MIKE STRUTTER also have a look at STRUTTERGEAR.COM you sg motherfuckers.
Also so the barmy dirty sanchez boys i fear for my body in London.I so want to go to STRINGFELLOWs next week it would be the holy grail of pervertedness.
MOANING MOTHERFUCKERING MONDAY
At this time of the year we get so many catologs posted through the letter box asking to buy this and that hey the jevovahs witnesses came last sunday and looked a bit scared when they heard the molten metal flying out of my speakers.
The thing that pisses me off the most is this fucking annoying thing that you can,t throw away ,it sits on the top of the fridge for three weeks and then on the door step for another two weeks its the.........................................BETTERWARE MAGAZINE
This magazine has the most useless shit that no right cunt on the face of the planet would buy heres some examples
THE HAIRCATCHING BODYSUIT
Buy this amazing hair catcher which does by simply pulling over ones head and relax without fear of your golden locks hitting the floor
THE AMAZING PRIVACY SCISSORS
The amazing privacy scissors will protect you from fraud with there five blades of easy shredding power making paper useless to theives.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGH what a load of bollocks i decided to rewrite these adds and i will remind you,you have togive this book back even if you don,t buy anything .I glued them inside
THE LOOK LIKE A CUNT WHILE YOUR MUM CUTS YOUR HAIR
AND
THE TIGHT FUCKERS CHEAPO SHREDDER
THE MAGAZINE HAS SINCE BEEN RECHRISTENED SHITWARE
AND FINALLY
A BIG HELLO TO MY NEW FRIENDS especially BRIGHT RED SCREAM who rocks.
The return of the sexy minx purplesiamese i prayed for her return
The lord of perverted thoughts listened my confession box is waiting caz
glad your back hun
LONDON IN A FEW DAYS i fear that jennie has invited the whole fucking site which smacks me of that sweet sixteen show on mtv lol she has her head screwed on she will get more presents than paris fucking hilton.
QUICKIES
Glad meg whites sex video was a scam ,i cryed when i watched it so im so glad its false
Buy the foos lp it rocks
Bake some buns jen for your birthday cupcakes please
Halo 3 is awesome steve 7 year old whoop assing awaits
HERES TO LANDARN
I bid you goodbye
bash
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
5 weeks off work again and I'm right handed!
See you in a couple of days x x x
THE LOOK LIKE A CUNT WHILE YOUR MUM CUTS YOUR HAIR
Oh bash my dear, I say thank-you so much for this!, and how did you ever think I could forget my favorite elf?!! never.