WOOT WOOT its been a hellacious weekend of sun(the orange thing that gives off heat from the sky that sends your head a funny red colour)beer(agaim ho hum)barbie testing and things that you wanna do but never have the balls to do em.

I had a few days off last week and chilled at home i was supposed to go cycling but i didn,t!!!!.I decide to build the barbieQ which was a 24 page manual to put the thing together but i managed it pretty darn good.

THINGS THAT I DID THAT I SHOULDN,T

I went into our small town on Friday and visited chrissys tattooist and got my hawaiin armband tattoo designed im off for it doing on the 30th of August my first yikes just thought fuck it you big wuss get it done so its sorted.
I was going to get my nipple peirced but i bottled it lol.


I did a bigger and braver thing in the afternoon.My cross bred mongrel of a dog is hairer than a russian shot putters vagina minge and hes very hot in this weather.I was at the time watching the nauseating MADINA LAKE the fuckin worst emo pop band on the planet which comes into the story later.
FUCK IT IM GONNA CUT THE DOGS HAIR!.I started at first he seemed to enjoy it but...snipping the end of his cock with the scissors he become a bit tetchy and bit me a few times.I remember being a kid and having a haircut done that you didn,t want your mates to see so you hid inside for weeks on end.Me i didn,t ave my hair cut for four years thats why it fell out.
So you should see the mess on the floor but heres the piccys of the dog



I was inspired and fucking jealous of all that fur on the floor so i gathered it all up and after a bit of the bashsters hairdressing skills i became a cross betweeen Robin Crosby Ratts legendary guitarist now dead rip,Donny Tourette and amazingly when i sent the the piccy to chrissy on my phone SHE SAID I LOOKED LIKE ONE OF THEM TALENTLESS CUNTS OUT OF MADINA LAKE THE SHAME OF IT



DONNY!!


THE BASHSTER

THE TWAT OOUT OF MADINA LAKE

MY REACTION TO LOOKING LIKE THE TWAT OUT OF MADINA LAKE

SHOULD I HAVE THIS AS MY NEW PROFILE PICCY???

Sunday in a short sharp blast

saw deathdodger she moaned about how everything is fucked as usual
saw timmy mallets mum(whos timmy mallet you may ask google him and think of a middle aged women dressed in luminous clothing with his specs on!
Got burnt
Barbied
got my neighbour drunk again
Had awesome drunk sex

Anyways two weeks till my MEXICAN COCK SHAPED POND BARBIE ALL INVITED AS USUAL


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I am going to buy one of them things you smash the fuck out of when you get bored of the kiddies missing it a PINATA god help us,a load of sombreros,tashs,limbo stick should be fun.I also want Salma out of dusk till dawn the come and dribble the tequilla cocktails im making down her lucious legs into my mouth one can dream eh.Any ideas are welcome PLEASE PLEASE COME I YOU DARE!!!.

Ok im off to make some serious man juice over the awesome new Quinne and Zoey sets.I Quinne for my barbie would be nice!!!!

REMEMBER I.M THE FOLLOWING BE WARNED


twisted most defo