bashster

So i became the victim of our very dodgy celler steps and slipped and hit a big stone beam at the bottom skull(well slaphead first).I still have a big red scab and as my bud lock says i ain,t got many a good look left to damage which is probably right.
The weekend as seen me make a decision to healtherize my lifestyle the following is what i eat and drunk last week!!!GULP
FISH N CHIPS ONCE
BATTERED SAUSAGE N CHIPS ONCE
PIE N PIES
3 PORK PIES
2 HAM SALAD SANDWICHES
3 CURRUNT TARTS
2 CORNISH PASTIES
2 MARS BARS
4 PEANUT KITKATS
2 LITRES OF RASPBERRYADE(EVIL STUFF)
16 CUPS OF COFFEE
Thats just for lunch last week at work scary!!!.
I have replaced the urge to eat at 12 by having breakfast.Saturday,Sunday and today consisted of one glass of warm water with a squeeze of lemon juice,one bowl of yogurt coated cereal and 1 coffee and the result this morning i was a full on ball of mental and pyshical energy.
I continued to feel more stress free and even found time to exercise this afternoon in which include the making of a target on a big cardboard box.The evil customer was drawn onto the box and me and woody had turns in throwing a big fuck off knife at the target.What a fuckin stress releiving event this one.But alas the watching of DIRTY SANCHEZ,S JOBS FOR THE BOYO,S led to over confidence when asked to do a bruce lee flip kick into the cardboard customers face.He soared in the air and his foot made fantastic cardboard face contact but alas he came crashing to earth like a shit dropping outta a dogs arse eerrrr PLOP! one hurt shoulder and one bruised ego.
One of the chaps at work got his fucking chest waxed to go on holiday which is very gay and he will be pulling more blokes than women in Greece what a faggot.
Mrs chomps is suffering from a heavy workload which i think has run her body down and given her a bit of a sniffle so Monday night 8pm shes in the land of nod poor thing.She worked all weekend so she could get her tattoo done.She sat through 3 hours today the sleeve shading will take four sittings then the flowers will be coloured in.It looks fucking awesome so far shes such a brave bunny.
Since i had my cold a week ago my snotters have become a wierd colour of green very luminous i bet they glow in the dark.Has anybody got any good cures for luminous bogies and general always bunged up snozzer.
I am looking forward to our trip to London to see Grotbags and officer dibble and goto the tattoo convention.
We booked our hotel so i can,t wait to give them pouncey drinking Londoners a run for their money.
We are hoping to return to Nottingham for the weekend stop over and go clubbng to rock city in November.
A hectic November will see Rancid,A7X and a trip to HARD TO HANDLE the 80,s 90,s rock night which should be cool gotta save solid for that.
The week following consists of
A trip to the dentist(visa sucker)
A new pool season starts
A trip to see the DIRTY SANCHEZ MOVIE
A attempt to stay choccy and wine free
A prayer to the god of sex that chomps tatto has miracle healing powera(please lord)
A haircut(half of one then!)
A work pub group therapy soiree (huh??)
A loss of 4lbs hopefully
A ride on my bike this weekend
A LETTER OF FUCKING DESTRUCTION TO TALK TALK STILL NO BROADBAND LETS HOPE THE INDIAN CALL CENTER GETS NUKED BY BENGALI REBELS (THAT DOESN,T SOUND THAT RACIST)

Eye openers tonite have included cera,s massive wangers,locks soft side (sweetycakes lol),angels mamouth amount of booze intake.
RUCKS WHERE ARE YOU DOLL?????

Now its goodbye from me
and goodbye from him!