Something tell's me this aint goin' to be easy.

She left me on the corner saying that it just wouldn't work out between us (there's a long history here too). She is an aspiring musical actor, I'm a musician, but her priorities are different ... she called me out, out of nowhere, saying I'm a stoner and a drunk, and she can't be around that anymore, she's got to concentrate on getting to NYC ... twenty minutes before that statement she was talking about how she was goin' to be the 'only one' and couldn't keep her hands off me ...

... the turn of events hit me pretty hard, blindsided me, and I was staggering for words, I didn't know how to respond to being dumped so abruptly ... I started stammering, searching for the right words ... she said I know your angry, I said I was more confused then angry, and she smiled, said sorry and walked away.

I respect her being honest with me ... but I was so confused by the sudden turn in her approach. Did I say something? or was it her just freaking out? It depressed me anyhow ... and almost two weeks gone by now ...

She dropped me a line today asking how I was and what I was up too, "we haven't talked in awhile" ...

... this isn't going to be easy ... but I don't think I'll get back to her, though I really WANT to ... there's a reason this relationship didn't work the first few times we tried, it'll just fuck us both up even more if we try it again ...

Who knows? I sure as hell don't ...