dear all
i dont know what to do
how many journal entries start like that? damit i never know what to do... but this is hard
but i bear it open to sg members ooooooooh....
family has always been a special thing for me. i was always so close to my dad .... and im loosing him. so far gone that i've almost lost him.
to his new gf, the all controlling might.
im upset and i dont know how to deal with this... but i cant just say goodbye to my dad. i cant just NEVER see him again.
thsi weekend was a climax tyo the whole situation, weekend away to see family, my only chance to see dad in a while too....
i was upset and not sure abotu going befour but i did anyway.... it was important to see my gran as she might not be around much longer...
the whole weekend i hardly get any time alone with my dad. ergo i have no chance to talk to anyone properly.... (my dad beign the only one i would confide in while i were there) .... he expects me to confide all my innermost fears to his new gf? i dont understand
i had a particularly bad last night, couldnt sleep for so long and got really stressy and shit...
woke up with tea from dad, but he wouldnt even give me two minutes to chat....
so anyway im feeling prettyshit all day.... and to add to the situation, im a crap group person.... if im upset i just need 1 -2-1. i cant talk to more than one person in an intimate situation, really... depends who.... but still....
i break down crying and evil new gf starts going on about how selfish i am, and hwo i never think about anyone but myself, and questioning how i will ever cope at college or uni, talking about how much my dad does for me blah blah blah
my dad just sits there (she is driving)
well ya know? i was UPSET! im sorry i coudlnt control it
selfish?
well... all those nights when i got to see my dad one night in a month, and she was on the fone to him all everning upset about something!
- she has a relationship with my dad, 1-2-1 .... she has family too... but why am i not allowed ANY TIME ALONE WITH HIM!
HE is very different around her, and they are totally engrossed in each other.....
they have a different life and the convo never flows with 3... well rarely....
i dont know what to do... its really gettin to me... yeah i know i sound selfish in this... and i probably am... but ever since she came on the scene i've been seeing less and less of my dad.... and then all the time i have with him is with her.... its like a ration i get...
i cant deal with this... i tried to ring him... but its crap... im so scared of loosing him completely but i still think its him that has to bother to make time and space in his life for me...
and also meh, she is NO1 to me.... and has no right to say so much abotu me.... its her evil bs....
and my dad says nothing
oh dear a ramble...
sorry guys... had to let it out....
i dont know what to do
how many journal entries start like that? damit i never know what to do... but this is hard
but i bear it open to sg members ooooooooh....
family has always been a special thing for me. i was always so close to my dad .... and im loosing him. so far gone that i've almost lost him.
to his new gf, the all controlling might.
im upset and i dont know how to deal with this... but i cant just say goodbye to my dad. i cant just NEVER see him again.
thsi weekend was a climax tyo the whole situation, weekend away to see family, my only chance to see dad in a while too....
i was upset and not sure abotu going befour but i did anyway.... it was important to see my gran as she might not be around much longer...
the whole weekend i hardly get any time alone with my dad. ergo i have no chance to talk to anyone properly.... (my dad beign the only one i would confide in while i were there) .... he expects me to confide all my innermost fears to his new gf? i dont understand
i had a particularly bad last night, couldnt sleep for so long and got really stressy and shit...
woke up with tea from dad, but he wouldnt even give me two minutes to chat....
so anyway im feeling prettyshit all day.... and to add to the situation, im a crap group person.... if im upset i just need 1 -2-1. i cant talk to more than one person in an intimate situation, really... depends who.... but still....
i break down crying and evil new gf starts going on about how selfish i am, and hwo i never think about anyone but myself, and questioning how i will ever cope at college or uni, talking about how much my dad does for me blah blah blah
my dad just sits there (she is driving)
well ya know? i was UPSET! im sorry i coudlnt control it
selfish?
well... all those nights when i got to see my dad one night in a month, and she was on the fone to him all everning upset about something!
- she has a relationship with my dad, 1-2-1 .... she has family too... but why am i not allowed ANY TIME ALONE WITH HIM!
HE is very different around her, and they are totally engrossed in each other.....
they have a different life and the convo never flows with 3... well rarely....
i dont know what to do... its really gettin to me... yeah i know i sound selfish in this... and i probably am... but ever since she came on the scene i've been seeing less and less of my dad.... and then all the time i have with him is with her.... its like a ration i get...
i cant deal with this... i tried to ring him... but its crap... im so scared of loosing him completely but i still think its him that has to bother to make time and space in his life for me...
and also meh, she is NO1 to me.... and has no right to say so much abotu me.... its her evil bs....
and my dad says nothing
oh dear a ramble...
sorry guys... had to let it out....
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