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banshee1

Member Since 2003

Followers 4 Following 6

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Sunday Jan 04, 2004

Jan 4, 2004
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I have the hardest time writing a journal. It's like pulling fucking teeth. I type and erase type and erase. Even my paper journal has been torture throughout the years. I try but I can't seem to keep it up. ::sigh::

I used to spend unnatural amounts of time on toolarmy.com message boards but it's a mess now and totally out of control. I used to write my personal thoughts in there. I was so comfortable. I don't know why I don't post more to sg message boards. Even though I've been a member here for a year I feel like an outsider. All my own fault of course, you have to participate to belong.

You want to hear about my day? My husband and I went with three other couples to see Cold Mountain early this afternoon. I enjoyed the movie. We went for milkshakes afterwards. Now we're making noodles for dinner and watching football. Exciting eh?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
banshee1:
Hi KoS smile You're right, and I AM very thankful for what I have. Truly I am. I don't know why I get so...I dunno, restless. My husband is much more of a homebody than I am. I'm the ants-in-my-pants adventurer and risk taker. We have our fair share of problems and they all seem to revolve around going out. This is my second marriage by the way. My first husband went away for a week long business trip, came home and moved out the next day. No warning, nothing. Just gone. Anyway....

Example: A friend of ours from Denver is in town on business we three went out last night to a bar. We started pretty early 6pm. At around 9:30pm my husband says I'm going home. This is a usual occurrance, he goes home and I stay and hang out with our friends. I am glad that he doesn't get mad when I stay, or if I go out by myself but it would be nice if he could hang out and cut loose. It hurts a little bit I guess.

Thank you so much for your words they do help.

Jan 10, 2004
king_of_skulls:
You are so very welcome, we are developing a nice friendship, and I think that it is cool that you are willing to take in my 2 cents worth. I hate that that happened to you in your first marriage, there are a lot of jerks in the world, and their actions only make it harder for the nice guys out there to earn someones trust. Its good that you have moved on from that and are trying to make another go at it.
I can understand that it hurts a little when your significant other doesnt want to stay out and play so to speak, but I am sure that it isnt that he dont want to hang out with you, maybe he just doesnt feel as comfortable in groups, or he has things on his mind that prevents him from enjoying it as much as you do. I might be going out on a limb, but do you know if he has depressive tendencies? I went thru a stage of my life like that, where I just couldnt go out and enjoy myself, and it turned out that I was going thru a small bout of depression and didnt even know it. I dont know the situation fully, but I do know that given what happened to you with your first husband, you are probably hypersensitive to the actions of your current husband, and I dont think that you should be. Like I said, I did the same thing for a while (I wouldnt even go riding) and my ex thought that it was her or something she was doing, and it really hurt her and I didnt even know that I was doing it. She simply thought that I didnt want to hang out with her, and that wasnt the case, I didnt want to hang out with anyone, I just sought the comfort of my home, and sat around doing nothing while life passed me by. I really hope that you can work thru this, and like I said before, if you ever want to chat about it, I am there for you in a plutonic manner. I like being your friend.
Peace to you and yours, and good luck.
skull
Jan 11, 2004

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