banbury

My feelings are kinda hurt right now. I look back and you would think someone you are involved in a relationship would maybe make somewhat of an effort to do something nice or special for your birthday. Yeah that definitely isnt so for me. Saturday was my birthday. I only did 1 thing for myself on it. Out of the whole day/night I only spent a total of 90 minutes doing something for me. Otherwise the whole day I was buying booze, getting food, taking the boy to work, getting food for the party, watching the dog, picking up the food and getting dinner, bringing dinner, watching the dog more, picking up from work. The holiday was fun in its own sense. It was nice to meet new people and such. But in the same sense I am 9 months pregnant and it is hard to get comfy in any way possible. I can't sit or stand without something hurting. The boy spent more time whoring and drinking then acknowledging my comfort, tiredness or lack of socibility. I wish he would have gone a little out of his way to make me feel a little better. I mean when it comes to certain friends he will bend over backwards for them to make them feel special. But sometimes I feel like my needs and concerns are kinda trashed. I sometimes catch a glimpse of kindness and someone going a little extra bit to make me feel special but then it is wiped out very quickly. I am just kinda of people walking on eggshells around me. Just treating me with kid gloves. Everyone needs to realize that you can drink around me, you can have a good time. You dont have to treat me any different. You can invite me out. I do hold up. I am not going to have this child for 4 more weeks. My pregnancy is not contagious. I just wish I could go back 9 months and change things. I mean dont get me wrong this baby is a blessing. But I wish I could just change things.

So on that note I pose this question. If someone came to you and handed you a pass and said that you could go back to a certain time in the year and live life again right from that part. You have knowledge of everything you know now. Where would you start over and what would you do different? Here are my answers:

I would start the middle of March. I would not have screwed up my friendship like I did. In April I would not have involved myself with the ass who got me pregnant. I would have started hanging out with the people on the group sooner. I still would have gotten my boobs done. But I wouldnt have gotten that cunt a job at the place i was working so she could get me fired. I would have continued to lose weight.

So yeah there is my rant and pity-me post.