bakeryman

Well I did not have much to say this morning. I spent most of the day just thinking. Which does not help me much. I need a change in my life. I like my job, but it does not pay much and I have to wait till october to get health insurance. I will have been there for a year before I get insurance, unless they go back on there word. And thats only because we pressed the issue with the owner. They offer insurance for the employees in the antique store but not to the restaurant employees. Whats up with that. I work harder than anybody else in the kitchen (except for the manager) and I am the oldest one. I work circles around the executive chef. I have to keep up with all of the desserts, all the salad dressings, make crepe and quiche shells, everything involved with afternoon tea (sandwiches, scones, teabread, spreads, and petite desserts), and I have to help him on the line during lunch. And if he is behind in his prep I have to help him catch up before I can finish what I need to do. I am almost 15 years older than him. He gets help other than me at times. Don't get me wrong I get some help too, but no where near as much as he gets.

Ok and my personal life sucks even more. I have very few friends around here (I have more friends here in SG land than I keep up with away from here) that I spend any time with. I have nowhere to go when the chips are down. Nowhere private to decompress when I need to. I don't have that special someone to spend time with. I go to the movies by myself. How pathetic can that be. I spend most of my time in front of this thing, not accomplishing much in the process. I need a life. But I don't make enough money to do that. I am at my witts end. I am depressed most of the time (although most people can't tell, I hide it well). I don't entertain vices that most people do. I don't drink (although lately that idea has been entrtained way too often lately) and have not had a drink in over 5 years. I don't smoke, never have. I don't do any kind of drugs. So that leaves food as my only destructive vice. And I enjoy it way too much. I tend to eat too much of the things that I should not. I need a change, I want a change, I just don't know what to do. But I need to do something before I go crazy. I have gone as far as to join a dating service, but even that has not worked out yet. I am willing to give it a try for a while, but I don't hold too much hope in that eirther. I know most poeple that leave me comments on my journal don't even read these entries, they are just sending a thanks and such on comments that I have left (unless I have posted a picture of something, they do look at those). I read all of the journal entries, thats why I make comments, to let them know that someone cares and is interested in what goes on in there lives. They are more interesting than mine thats for sure.

Well enough of that. Here is what I spent my day on.


This is my bamboo plant before.


And this is after I replanted it. I got a gift card from World Market for my birthday this past weekend and this is what I got. I think it looks much better than that stupid mug. Now I need to clean this place up, it's almost as depressing as I am right now.

Well thats all for now. Hope everybody is well.

Later