Ok so here goes an explination of my last journal entry.
My life as a whole sucks. I have been in a depression for a long time, and as of late it has been getting worse. I hate my living conditions. I live with my aging parents. I am one of three kids and I am the only one availabe (and willing) to help them. I have very little privacy. I am at their beck and call all the time. I work 40+ hrs a week then come home and do things around the house. I sleep very little. I am lucky sometimes to get 4 to 5 hours a day. My work schedule does not help. Most of the time I go to work at 3am. I am lucky to get to bed before 9 pm most of the time, and up again at 1am. I work hard every day. I am on my feet at all times, most of the time I have so much work the only break I get is when I go to the little bakers room (you can guess what that is). My personal life is non existant. I have not had an intimate relationship sence I was 27 and that was not all that intimate at that. I used to be a laid back kind of guy but as of late have had a short temper. I would go and see a doctor but I don't have insurance. My right hand (and sometimes my left hand) go numb all the time, its not painfull but anying not being able to feel anything. I'm surprized its not numb by now. Work has been very stressful as of late. I work in a bakery in a grocery store. There is so much that has to be done on a daily basis its not funny. The other baker is older than me and can't seem to remember half of which needs to be done, which means I have to make up the difference. We have talked to him but it does no good. I never know what I will have when I get to work. I can't ignore because then there is not enough product to fill the tables which gets me in trouble. He only has about 1 month left before he retires and then it will all be on my shoulders. There is not enough hours in the day to keep up with everything that needs to be done. I am a strong baker but its more than I can handle alone. And its the same with everyone else in the bakery, they have more than enough to do themselves. Things would not be so bad if I had a place to go and unwind and get away from things. The only place I have to get away from things for a brief time is when I am in my car driving. I have plenty of friends but none that I would consider going to in these times. Most of my friends are here online or live too far to just get away for a while. Sometime I just want to get away from it all if only for a couple of hours but where to go. I am not going to start hanging around a bar. If I do that I will drink too much and what good will that do.
Well thats it for now. Its 6pm and I need to get to bed because I have to be at work at 1am because of all the problems I had at work today. Probably one of the worse days I have had as of late.
Laters
My life as a whole sucks. I have been in a depression for a long time, and as of late it has been getting worse. I hate my living conditions. I live with my aging parents. I am one of three kids and I am the only one availabe (and willing) to help them. I have very little privacy. I am at their beck and call all the time. I work 40+ hrs a week then come home and do things around the house. I sleep very little. I am lucky sometimes to get 4 to 5 hours a day. My work schedule does not help. Most of the time I go to work at 3am. I am lucky to get to bed before 9 pm most of the time, and up again at 1am. I work hard every day. I am on my feet at all times, most of the time I have so much work the only break I get is when I go to the little bakers room (you can guess what that is). My personal life is non existant. I have not had an intimate relationship sence I was 27 and that was not all that intimate at that. I used to be a laid back kind of guy but as of late have had a short temper. I would go and see a doctor but I don't have insurance. My right hand (and sometimes my left hand) go numb all the time, its not painfull but anying not being able to feel anything. I'm surprized its not numb by now. Work has been very stressful as of late. I work in a bakery in a grocery store. There is so much that has to be done on a daily basis its not funny. The other baker is older than me and can't seem to remember half of which needs to be done, which means I have to make up the difference. We have talked to him but it does no good. I never know what I will have when I get to work. I can't ignore because then there is not enough product to fill the tables which gets me in trouble. He only has about 1 month left before he retires and then it will all be on my shoulders. There is not enough hours in the day to keep up with everything that needs to be done. I am a strong baker but its more than I can handle alone. And its the same with everyone else in the bakery, they have more than enough to do themselves. Things would not be so bad if I had a place to go and unwind and get away from things. The only place I have to get away from things for a brief time is when I am in my car driving. I have plenty of friends but none that I would consider going to in these times. Most of my friends are here online or live too far to just get away for a while. Sometime I just want to get away from it all if only for a couple of hours but where to go. I am not going to start hanging around a bar. If I do that I will drink too much and what good will that do.
Well thats it for now. Its 6pm and I need to get to bed because I have to be at work at 1am because of all the problems I had at work today. Probably one of the worse days I have had as of late.
Laters
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
having no set schedule is such a horrible thing. added to a stressful job and it's a big ugly mess.
be sure to take time for you when you can. otherwise you'll go nutty.
i hope things get better real soon. big hugs!