bailey

last weekend a friend of mine asked me a pretty simple question:

"what do you want to be when you grow up?"

now, it could have been the alcoholic beverage i consumed in about 2.3 seconds (he was hott and i was nervous....) but my mind drew a blank.

i've been thinking about this question ever since....

it was such a simple question, but i totally copped out.

my reply? "i wanna be a mom"

but no. thats not entirely true. i'm not sure i want to BE anything. i just want...whatever it is i want at that time in my life.

for now, that means working as a teacher and reading books and wearing mesh baseball hats.

three years ago that meant living with my boyfriend and spending every weekend on the couch watching movies, having meaningless B-O-R-I-N-G sex and going to college.

who knows what the answer to that question will be three years from now...

it just seems to me that this state of grown-up-ness will never actually occur. that being grown up is something completely in the future and that its a goal that one needs to achieve.

fuck that shit.

i am threw setting goals for myself because they rarely, if ever, are accomplished in the style and manor i originally had intended myself to achieve them in.

when i was little i used to tell people that i wanted to be a gas station attendant when i grew up, because i thought that checking peoples oil and washing windows was superfun. and i still think that that is the way i should view that question.