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bailey

Boston

SG Since 2002

Followers 3367 Following 1716

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Thursday Sep 28, 2006

Sep 28, 2006
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today i treated myself to a full body massage. it was the best hour of my entire life. better than most of the sex i've had.
things are gonna be fine. happiness can be achieved through my own doing. i dont need anyone else to carry the weight of my happiness on their shoulders. im just glad they are still along for the ride.

team awesome hasnt died yet......its huddle time.

im kicking ass and taking names. i have a lot of great things on the horizon. i have great friends who rally around me. i have a wonderful malefriend in my life that i feel i can say anything to, and be accepted and acknowledged and validated. i have people back in my life that i havent heard from in awhile.

i'm in control. no one else is or ever was or ever should be.

now comes the task of looking within myself to decide how best to go about the life i wish to lead. how to be who i want to be.

its not compromise. its not sacrifice. its not settling. its looking at things from a different perspective. its opening myself up and letting things go the way they are going to go. its seeing the line drawn in the sand and not trying to jump over it, or redraw it, or even try to match mine up to it. there are some big tasks ahead of me...but what if the things i always considered moutains are really just illusions? what if the mountains are higher than i ever thought possible and cant find my way to the top?

its life, live and learn.

im going to stop worrying so much about the future and find the beauty in now. and..okay maybe next week and major holidays.

regardless of what happens, i need to love my life. and you know what? i honestly do. no matter how much i cry, no matter how much i fuck up or feel lost or cant see a way out. I LOVE MY LIFE.

bet you never thought i could be so positive, huh?
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
perdita:
oh reeeaally?

wait.

what was so shocking again?
Oct 4, 2006
shawneeslim:
time to buy a motorcyle, time to join a band, whoever used to get you off, twas better done by hand...

Seriously, you have an opportunity now. Having been there...take stock and inventory of all the things that are crucial to you, non-negotiables that can't be given up for the sake of a relationship. Anyone worth being with will allow you the space to keep these things if you ask, if you cherish what matters to you...gotta be happy on your own, then you have something worth giving to another. You will have EVERYTHING to offer...
Oct 4, 2006

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