badm0j02

She had a rough day. She had dinner with some truly wonderful friends who i am glad to have in both our lives. She had a hard phone conversation tonight with a long time friend. She told him she had to let him go. She swears to me that she says this to him because she needs to move on from the things she associates to him in her life. I hope this is the case. It would bring no good to anyone if she has done this for my sake.

She had a bit too much to drink tonight and ended up sick. She's finally asleep but its a mildly violent sleep at best.

I can't really sleep because i'm watching her. When the jerking about gets to bad, i try to soothe her by rubbing a forearm or cheek. It works...mostly. I do hope her drunken dreams do not vex her. I do love her so.
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I have known and lost a great deal of love in my life. I have given love away and stole it in moments and months. I have attempted on many occasions to trust another....on many occasions...yet somewhere deep inside i've always known it was just me here.

This is strange. This is unusual. I gave this woman the keys to my heart the moment i met her. I knew from the first moment that we met that i could hand her my heart....and i did. Completely. Entirely. As an adult, on my own, i have never known such peace with my darkinner as the times we are alone and no words are spoken.

We sit quietly for hours on end. We discuss any subject for hours on end. We stray into the sensations with no awareness of time yet all awareness of the other. We operate amongst others. We know love lost and gained.

What a wonderously frightful predicament...


g'nite all.