bada

I feel like being anywhere and anyone other than myself tonight. I won't feel that way tomorrow, but its just cause I've been working really hard this week and exercise, but not happy with the results. I know its just one week, but I think I gained weight. I have a goal, but we'll see.
So, lately, I've been a bump. I work, work out, then do something (go out or waste time at home) and then head to bed. It's time to achieve something. I was thinking previously to continue this career I'm in (not a career I intended) because its safe, and its easier to find a job. But its boring as shit and I have no passion for it. I'd like to think I can do anything, but having a hard time limiting myself. We'll see. I'm thinking its time to reach, time to jump, time to plan and achieve. Rather than stay safe, I think I need to struggle and challenge myself and stay busy. Lately, for about a year, I've taken on one item, and that was my health, I haven't achieved exactly what I wanted, but its time to achieve balance. Time to work my ass off while working my ass off. Make sense? good, lets keep going. I realize I'm overrun by desires for physical things, but I need to be more selfless and maybe (dare I say it) less girl crazy. A relationship with someone isn't really going to help me, even though I feel like liking someone and being good to them. It may leave me empty in the end. Soul searchin? I think so. Time for another vision quest.
CB