A letter to my coworker, because I'm too chicken to say this to her face.
Dear coworker,
Today marks five years of us working together. Over that time, I've noticed a few things about your work habits. When I started the job, your daughter was pregnant with her first child, and you warned me that you would be gone for awhile once the baby was born, to help her out, etc. This was the first of a string of family-related events that kept you away from the office. Over the years, it was moving your mother into nursing care, more grandchildren being born, weddings, funerals, sickness, and more. All very good reasons to not be at work.
However, if I were away as frequently as you are, I would make better use of my time when I was actually in the office. I would not sit and chitchat with me and every other person who comes in. I would not constantly complain to our boss about how busy you are, when you know damn well you do maybe an hour's worth of work a day. I would not routinely take 90+ minute lunches when we're only supposed to be gone an hour. I would stop prying into other people's lives and asking them personal questions. I try not to talk to you any more because of this.
One more thing. You have, on at least one occasion, just flat out lied on your timesheet, saying you were at work when you were not. Please, if you're going to be gone constantly, at least be fucking honest about it. Oh yeah, and I know you convinced our boss to let you leave 15 minutes early every day because you were carpooling with your husband, but you haven't actually carpooled with him for about a year now. So why do you still need to leave early? Aren't you just so BUSY with work that you really should stay the full time?
I'm tired of not being able to count on you for anything, I'm tired of you shirking work onto me and not doing anything yourself, I'm tired of you lying and playing innocent about it. Please, please retire soon so I can see what that office would be like with two people who actually work. I've grown to hate you over the years, and can't even muster up sympathy now that your mother is going into hospice. It will just be yet another thing to keep you away from the office.
Sincerely,
Your frustrated and non-confrontational coworker
Dear coworker,
Today marks five years of us working together. Over that time, I've noticed a few things about your work habits. When I started the job, your daughter was pregnant with her first child, and you warned me that you would be gone for awhile once the baby was born, to help her out, etc. This was the first of a string of family-related events that kept you away from the office. Over the years, it was moving your mother into nursing care, more grandchildren being born, weddings, funerals, sickness, and more. All very good reasons to not be at work.
However, if I were away as frequently as you are, I would make better use of my time when I was actually in the office. I would not sit and chitchat with me and every other person who comes in. I would not constantly complain to our boss about how busy you are, when you know damn well you do maybe an hour's worth of work a day. I would not routinely take 90+ minute lunches when we're only supposed to be gone an hour. I would stop prying into other people's lives and asking them personal questions. I try not to talk to you any more because of this.
One more thing. You have, on at least one occasion, just flat out lied on your timesheet, saying you were at work when you were not. Please, if you're going to be gone constantly, at least be fucking honest about it. Oh yeah, and I know you convinced our boss to let you leave 15 minutes early every day because you were carpooling with your husband, but you haven't actually carpooled with him for about a year now. So why do you still need to leave early? Aren't you just so BUSY with work that you really should stay the full time?
I'm tired of not being able to count on you for anything, I'm tired of you shirking work onto me and not doing anything yourself, I'm tired of you lying and playing innocent about it. Please, please retire soon so I can see what that office would be like with two people who actually work. I've grown to hate you over the years, and can't even muster up sympathy now that your mother is going into hospice. It will just be yet another thing to keep you away from the office.
Sincerely,
Your frustrated and non-confrontational coworker