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babyblue

Eureka, CA. The one on the coast. The other one is Yreka. That's in the mountains.

Member Since 2003

Followers 113 Following 113

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Sunday Jun 07, 2009

Jun 6, 2009
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God I'm boring. All I talk about anymore is work stuff or yoga stuff. I seriously find it incredibly challenging to dredge up any more conversation topics, so I rely on the other person or people to be interesting enough for both (or all) of us.

I think I used to be more interesting than this. Maybe not though. I skimmed through my journal entries on here from when I first joined the site back in 2003, and it appeared that the only thing I did for roughly 2-3 years was go to concerts, because that's all I fucking talked about. Now I'm old and don't even go to shows much anymore.

Blah, boring late night entry brought about by too much introspection. At least I still have an awesome boyfriend and awesome friends who put up with my yoga talk. Sorry guys. Yoga's awesome and all, but I'll try to be more interesting in the future. I promise.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
sadfaceclown:
incestuous.... yes indeed. It's kinda' silly. oh well. funny at least.
Jun 16, 2009
sadfaceclown:
It's a sad story. I try not to ever play the what if game. We were all there for him. He made the choices he made. I think it was just something that had to happen. It is a sad thing.

In defense to the girl I was seeing at the time... I didn't really want her there with me. We were not really seeing eye to eye and I didn't want any of our shit to boil over into other people's grieving process. People were turning to me for strength and answers, I felt responsible to "take care" of things. I didn't feel that I could deal with her and all the grief at the same time.

It's kinda' crazy... I was really busy with work at the time. I lost a good friend, broke up with my girlfriend.... I hardly noticed. Just kept plugging away.

Now for some reason all this stuff is coming back to me emotionally. I'm grieving lost friends, I'm bitter and angry at my ex, all sorts of other emotional things are coming at me.

I guess it's a sign that I need to deal with some shit before I move on to the next stage... almost there.

It's felt good to write about it.... the sun seems brighter and happier today. biggrin
Jun 17, 2009

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