so here is a story I started in highschool that I decided to start revising to maybe send out for publishing 
I guess tell me what you think or something xo
1.
2.
3.Claire thinks she is so punk rock. She works at the A and P and she wears ripped fishnets, a three row studded belt around her little curved hips and big black boots. Her hands are like a baby's and she has these dangly cherry earrings and a bleach blonde flat top; the kind you know she's worked on having all year. I've never exchanged more than a hello with her but I know her name.
1.The first time I saw her, I made sure to sneak a peek at her glossy red name-tag. That's how I know her name. She's always popping her gum as she hands you your change. Thank you for choosing the A and P and have a good (insert) morning, afternoon, night. It's so programmed, so impersonal.
1. I want her to lean over, her breasts falling from her low cut tank top, look me straight in the eyes and say, Thank you, Billy for spending your hard-earned paycheck at the A and P and not the Shop Rite down the street which carries the same items only cheaper. Thank you for spending that extra two dollars here and not there. I hate her for being so aloof but maybe that's why I can't stop going to the A and P, waiting for her to fall in love with me, something I was certain would never happen.
2. Claire's shift is the graveyard shift. I imagine she likes it because she probably thinks it makes her seem dangerous, like some tough ass girl, being up late around scary truck drivers and the rest of the city's sludge. I bet she's only eighteen or something. She looks so young. I bet she really isn't scared. I bet she has a knife under her tongue that she takes between her teeth if someone threatens her. I bet whoever threatens her runs fast and is fucking scared as hell.
1. I want to tell Claire that she makes me like Fridays, because she works Fridays. Everyone else seems to make such a big deal of Fridays, because they are pay day or they are close to the weekend or something. TGIF. I think that's pretty dumb. I think Friday is just a regular day like any other only it's the end of the work week. If that means I'm depressed then that's okay, because I never want to be a stupid weekend lover like everyone else.
2.This Friday Claire is slumped over the cash register, looking bored as usual. Her bleach blonde hair stains the air with a thick peroxide stench and I like it. I bet she just dyed her hair today. I imagine her slumped over her bathtub naked, her hips bare, her legs bare, no more fishnets, just naked. I imagine her rubbing the white bleach and powder together with a fingertip and precisely applying it all over her pretty little head of hair.
1.She licks her lips and her two shiny lip rings are revealed like two matching fangs. She is pure fucking poison. Okay, not really. She is poison but a good kind. A kind I'd like to drink. She looks so fucking bored. I decided to buy something cooler than peanut butter and fluff. I don't want her to think I buy dumb stuff. I want her to see me buy something cool but what is cool anyway. Cool man I say to myself then laugh, because I never say stuff like that. I buy a card. A random fucking card. I pretend in my head that it's for my grandmother who's sick in the hospital even though I never knew my grandmother. It's pretty tacky. It says Everyday caring thoughts are with you, bringing hope that each tomorrow is a little brighter, Get well soon It is pathetic. It is not for my grandmother. I decided to buy it anyway. I stand behind a man in a gray fisherman's hat. I figure he's up at 5 am because he's going fishing. That makes sense. I wonder why I'm up at 5 am and realize it is to see Claire who's never talked to me, ever and that is truly sad. Claire examines the card for a second with her stone cold glare, doesn't even read it like I hoped she would. I thought it might at least make her laugh. She rings it up and holds her hand out for my money. I'm digging through my pocket for change. I'm handing Claire pennies and dimes. It's really annoying. I feel like a total wanker, like why do I have all this damn change and no fucking dollar bills. She must think I'm the lowest common-denominator, poor and a loser. She counts the change and tosses it into the change compartment of the register, bites her lip in annoyance and slams the register shut. Thanks for choosing the A and P and have a good morning I nod. Thanks, you too I say which is pretty dumb, I think and then walk out the door. I get in my car. It smells like too many stale cigarettes and that makes me kinda bummed out. I want to get back out of the car and go back in, maybe buy something else besides this dumb card for a fake grandmother but I don't. I light my crushed out cigarette and smoke it. Read the card again Everyday caring thoughts are with you, bringing hope that each tomorrow is a little brighter, Get well soon.It makes me cringe and I wonder why I even thought it would be a good idea to buy it. First impressions last forever, someone once said that. I think they might be right. The first impressions I make have never been totally awesome.
ps. sorry for the weird numbers...I messed up my open office document and haven't figured out how to fix it yet.
Love,
Zoe
I guess tell me what you think or something xo
1.
2.
3.Claire thinks she is so punk rock. She works at the A and P and she wears ripped fishnets, a three row studded belt around her little curved hips and big black boots. Her hands are like a baby's and she has these dangly cherry earrings and a bleach blonde flat top; the kind you know she's worked on having all year. I've never exchanged more than a hello with her but I know her name.
1.The first time I saw her, I made sure to sneak a peek at her glossy red name-tag. That's how I know her name. She's always popping her gum as she hands you your change. Thank you for choosing the A and P and have a good (insert) morning, afternoon, night. It's so programmed, so impersonal.
1. I want her to lean over, her breasts falling from her low cut tank top, look me straight in the eyes and say, Thank you, Billy for spending your hard-earned paycheck at the A and P and not the Shop Rite down the street which carries the same items only cheaper. Thank you for spending that extra two dollars here and not there. I hate her for being so aloof but maybe that's why I can't stop going to the A and P, waiting for her to fall in love with me, something I was certain would never happen.
2. Claire's shift is the graveyard shift. I imagine she likes it because she probably thinks it makes her seem dangerous, like some tough ass girl, being up late around scary truck drivers and the rest of the city's sludge. I bet she's only eighteen or something. She looks so young. I bet she really isn't scared. I bet she has a knife under her tongue that she takes between her teeth if someone threatens her. I bet whoever threatens her runs fast and is fucking scared as hell.
1. I want to tell Claire that she makes me like Fridays, because she works Fridays. Everyone else seems to make such a big deal of Fridays, because they are pay day or they are close to the weekend or something. TGIF. I think that's pretty dumb. I think Friday is just a regular day like any other only it's the end of the work week. If that means I'm depressed then that's okay, because I never want to be a stupid weekend lover like everyone else.
2.This Friday Claire is slumped over the cash register, looking bored as usual. Her bleach blonde hair stains the air with a thick peroxide stench and I like it. I bet she just dyed her hair today. I imagine her slumped over her bathtub naked, her hips bare, her legs bare, no more fishnets, just naked. I imagine her rubbing the white bleach and powder together with a fingertip and precisely applying it all over her pretty little head of hair.
1.She licks her lips and her two shiny lip rings are revealed like two matching fangs. She is pure fucking poison. Okay, not really. She is poison but a good kind. A kind I'd like to drink. She looks so fucking bored. I decided to buy something cooler than peanut butter and fluff. I don't want her to think I buy dumb stuff. I want her to see me buy something cool but what is cool anyway. Cool man I say to myself then laugh, because I never say stuff like that. I buy a card. A random fucking card. I pretend in my head that it's for my grandmother who's sick in the hospital even though I never knew my grandmother. It's pretty tacky. It says Everyday caring thoughts are with you, bringing hope that each tomorrow is a little brighter, Get well soon It is pathetic. It is not for my grandmother. I decided to buy it anyway. I stand behind a man in a gray fisherman's hat. I figure he's up at 5 am because he's going fishing. That makes sense. I wonder why I'm up at 5 am and realize it is to see Claire who's never talked to me, ever and that is truly sad. Claire examines the card for a second with her stone cold glare, doesn't even read it like I hoped she would. I thought it might at least make her laugh. She rings it up and holds her hand out for my money. I'm digging through my pocket for change. I'm handing Claire pennies and dimes. It's really annoying. I feel like a total wanker, like why do I have all this damn change and no fucking dollar bills. She must think I'm the lowest common-denominator, poor and a loser. She counts the change and tosses it into the change compartment of the register, bites her lip in annoyance and slams the register shut. Thanks for choosing the A and P and have a good morning I nod. Thanks, you too I say which is pretty dumb, I think and then walk out the door. I get in my car. It smells like too many stale cigarettes and that makes me kinda bummed out. I want to get back out of the car and go back in, maybe buy something else besides this dumb card for a fake grandmother but I don't. I light my crushed out cigarette and smoke it. Read the card again Everyday caring thoughts are with you, bringing hope that each tomorrow is a little brighter, Get well soon.It makes me cringe and I wonder why I even thought it would be a good idea to buy it. First impressions last forever, someone once said that. I think they might be right. The first impressions I make have never been totally awesome.
ps. sorry for the weird numbers...I messed up my open office document and haven't figured out how to fix it yet.
Love,
Zoe
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
caligula_odm:
just playin' around with ya baby-d. you know, the make out comment. k.
squidbizkit:
i can not figure out why you are not naked in my bed.