b1gfatho

I've been going through a few changes lately. A few weeks ago I saw a post here on SG in the Hopeless Romantics group that was a tribute to the nice guys. It was nice to read and at first was great, but I don't know. If anything, in the long run it kind of made me even less okay with being a "nice" guy. Thing is, I don't even really consider myself a nice guy, I feel I just have common fucking courtesy and try to think of others before myself if whenever I can. But what it really kind of pointed out to me is that it really does suck hairy nutsack not being a fuckwad. And yeah, it's kind of bullshit. I gotta listen to people talk all day about wanting to meet nice people, and when they do it's just a whole lot of, "I don't know, it's weird that he's nice," or my favorite, "It just kind of comes off as desperate."

Let me take a step back, a deep breath and say, Bitch, it ain't being desperate, it's us trying to give two shits about you and what would make you happy. And it's not just women either, I mean, I've worked at this same job for over a year now, and have more responsibility than about half the people there. I'm in charge of(and stand to get in trouble for) an entire third of the warehouse along with all the packages and paperwork that my section provides. I always stay late if my boss asks and will, like tomorrow and Saturday, work 15 hour days. I know how to perform every single task in that warehouse and am one of the few people who no one hates so I can work with any member there. And yet, over a year in, I'm still making Eight goddamn dollars an hour. That is minimum wage. There is some jackass who always gives the boss headaches, always talks back, and whose job is to literally sit on his ass in the parking lot and point to the general area where people should park. He makes more money than me.

So ultimately, I guess I don't really know what's up. I don't think I could ever change who I fundamentally am, which is not a prick, but I'm kind of unhappy that I'm not. It's a weird fucking problem.

In other news I have really intensely started eating better and working out a lot more. This is really the first time I, personally, have decided to do so. Two reasons why, 1) I want to learn some martial arts and you need to be in shape to do that and 2) I need to meet a woman.

For a long time I had held off losing weight because I was and still am afraid that if I lose weight and meet someone, I'll always wonder if they would have ever even given me the chance if I was big.

Guess I just don't care anymore.