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Sad Pathetic Men and the Women who Love Them Part I

Timid Guy: My sister brought up a good point yesterday, we were talking and she asked me what I looked for in a girl.

Andrew: Is that a point?

Angry Guy: Yeah, that really seems a question

Timid Guy: Oh, I guess, never mind

Other Guy: Theyre just being assholes, continue.

Timid Guy: Well, I realized that its a simple question

Angry Guy: See! Told you it was a question.

[Angry Guy and Andrew high five in the lamest manner possible]

[Timid Guy stops talking and goes back to work]

Angry Guy: groans so you were saying?

Timid Guy: No its okay

Angry Guy: Just fucking say it, Ill stop interrupting

Timid Guy: Well I realized its a simple question, but also that I had no actual answer

Andrew: Alright

Timid Guy: So how would you guys answer?

Andrew: We actually already had this conversation a few days ago.

Other Guy: Yeah, we decided that despite our best efforts all the women we become interested in happen to fall into certain categories. For example, I have realized that I only like crazy women with big time emotional problems.

Timid Guy: huh?

Other Guy: You see, when forced to take a long hard look at all the potentially romantic females in my life, I realized that every single one of them were emotionally unstable which I guess makes sense since Im so fucked up.

Angry Guy: Yeah, and we realized that I seem to be attracted to feminists.

Timid Guy: But your completely misogynistic.

Angry Guy: Exactly

Timid Guy:

Andrew: He wants someone to call him on all his bullshit

Angry Guy: And who will spew her own.

Timid Guy: Uh huh

Andrew: And for the love of christ, it appears that every single woman I meet has to live hundreds of fucking miles away. Not because I want them to, but its just worked out that way. I mean Ive only ever been close to one female within a decent distance and thats a girl I took to prom

Timid Guy: blahblah?

Andrew: Yeah blahblah.

Angry Guy: and she left him the week after prom to get back together with her ex boyfriend.

Andrew: Its okay, its entirely my fault.

Other Guy: How was it your fault?

Andrew: I dont know, Im just assuming it was.

Timid Guy: haha

Other Guy: Does that answer your question?

Timid Guy: Well you see

Andrew: Yeah I know, were looking at this from a completely shallow level, but aside from those points, really were all looking for the same thing, someone to have fun with, where we get along, make each other laugh, all that stuff.

Angry Guy: And AMAZING sex.

Andrew: Naturally. Oh and this may sound like a joke, but they have to like film. I don't care what films they like, they just have to like it and be able to back up why.

Timid Guy: Well, thats fine, but what I meant when I asked the question, is what do you look for in a girl PHYSICALLY?

Other Guy: Oh we like them cute.

Timid Guy: What does that mean?

Other Guy: Cant define it, just accept that as the answer.

Timid Guy: alright

This ridiculous, misogynistic conversation continues in are you ready for it?

Sad Pathetic Men and the Women who Love Them... PART II