b1gfatho

"We're best friends right?"

"No"

"Fuck you. Okay, so let's say it's a matter of life and death, my life on the line, and the only way I'll survive is if you give me a blowjob, would you do it?"

"What? What situation would we be in where my giving you a blowjob would save your life?"

"Let's just assume that we're in that situation?"

"What like someone is holding a gun to your head and will shoot unless I give you head?"

"No, let's be serious here for a minute, that's never gonna happen. Let's say I have cancer, and the cure is you need to give me a blowjob?"

"Why me? Why not a hooker?"

"Because you have the magical cancer curing properties in your mouth."

"Then why wouldn't I just take said properties out of my mouth?"

"Because that's not how it works! You have to give me a blowjob or the cancer curing spit doesn't cure shit."

"So I can't just spit on your dick?"

"No you can't fucking spit on it!! It has to be a blowjob."

"Why?"

"Because it does!!"

"I can accept those terms."

"Right, so if I had super death cancer, and I was going to die, would you give me a blowjob to save my life?"

"No"

"Seriously."

"Seriously, no."

"Look man, I'm not joking or anything right now, I'm genuinely curious, if the shit hit the fan, and the only way to save my life was to give me a blowjob, would you do it?"

"So I can't just spit on it?

"No"

"And your gonna die if I don't?"

"yes"

Do I have to swallow?"

"Don't be gross."

"What do you mean don't be gross? This whole fucking situation is strange and a little gross."

"Just answer the question."

"I guess if I didn't have to swallow, and if you're really gonna fucking die, then I'll do it."

"... I have cancer"



*Actual conversation I just had with myself in my brain... maybe I am insane.