azzura

OK so last night things progressed between Fancy Face and myself, no sex but let's just say I am finding it rather painful to sit down.

To be honest being intimate with someone who has no intention of having a relationship with me actually does my fucken head in although I know that if he did want more I would fucken freak out!! So I am fucked either way. This friends with benefits thing is not as easy as I thought it would be, why the hell am I so complicated, I just wish I could switch my anxiety off, it drives me nuts.

I can't go through another long length of time without sex again, fuck celibacy!! One of the reasons why Anton and myself didn't work is that I put so much pressure on the relationship being more serious than it needed to be I couldn't just relax and take it one day at a time. I need to strike a balance, just a little afraid of getting hurt by some one who I actually have fuck all in common with and who I know doesn't want more than to play with me albeit he is incredibly good looking and amazing with his hands.

WHAT FUCKEN NOW!!!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!