Bored today sitting at home. Had some fun yesterday though. Hung out with some friends of ours at their house watching movies. It was nice to have some adult interaction during the day. Jen & Mike are the coolest because they invite us over to hang out and they live pretty close to us which is nice. We haven't known them too long but clicked right away. They have kids around our ages that play together. Its great to feel wanted again and getting invited over lots. Sure we have other friends and ones we thought we were pretty close with but lately we've been thinking how we try so hard to be friends with them but in the end we are "easily forgotten" or going contacted for a hookup or for something they want. Don't get me wrong our friends are good people but sometimes I like someone just to call me up and shoot the breeze with me every once in a long while. Just call to say hi or call to say do you want to come over. I hate having to hint, incenuate or even invite myself over to a friends place. It just feels weird to have to be the one always to push to be friends. 
I know lots of people are busy and doing other things thats why I think its rude to try to talk to "invite" myself over but Jenn & mike have always been great at inviting us or asking to hang and such and vice versa with us.
I just wish that we could hang out with others the same way. But Gabe & I both agree that we are sick of trying to be friends with people that apparently only want you around when its in their best interest or when its "conveient" for them.
I figured good friends are willing to txt, call, email, or hang with you without you having to constantly be the ones to try to make the friendship work. Gabe has felt the same way for awhile and brought it up to me. Said that he feels like a loose end with a few of our relationships. Hell we are apart of a group and have no interest anymore attending the events because of that reason. He tells me he wants quality time with people that actually want to be our friend not just an acquaintance which some of our friends are. I agree with him. It feels pretty empty to have to say "can we come over" and things like that to push to be apart of their lives. If people want to be friends shouldn't they do 50% of the work in the relationship to make it work.
I know a lot of times I have been a shitty friend because I open my mouth up and am too blunt for many but I have never had any problems with people saying Rose that hurt my feelings or please apology etc. Thats what friends do. Tell you when you fuck up so you can make it better.
But if I'm just a fuck, a friend when someone has time, etc it gets tiresome. I want more quality friendships but I think thats a rare gem now days.
Don't get me wrong I really care about our friends we have. I just dont know what to do. I want to still be their friends but Gabe keeps telling me we should cut ties with these people until they can decide they want to be our friends and not someone that will see you every few months or will call you when they want a booty call after weeks of not talking to you online etc. I know everyone gets busy and can't see you all the time but there are other means to stay in touch right?
You can either pick up the phone and for those that aren't phone people txt me on my phone, txt me on chat service or hell drop me an email from time to time.
I dont expect anyone to be in contact every day with us but how is that I might get a Yahoo IM from a couple after not hearing from them for 4 weeks. Come on...call me a friend but do that...makes us feel we aren't worth the time. We want quality NOT quanitity.
Now if people are reading that they can make all defenses to those that dont get back to their friends for months or dont see them for months.
But tell me this...if you live in the same city and even if you can't get out to see your friend...can you not invite them over or contact them in anyway?
I thought to myself this was normal even though Gabe said that the whole situation sucks with our friends. I never had to many friends growing up cuz I was the "nerd". So thought maybe this is how relationships go and friends that do 50% of the work or see you on a consistant basis were a "fairytale" but I can't honestly say that now.
My friend Jen txts me everyday from her work regardless how busy she is...sometiems can't talk long but she does. She invites me up for lunches or to hang out with the kids at the park with her shit like that. Her husband Mike invited me to go start working out with him at the gym on his days off. They invite us over for dinner. They invite us for movies. They either txt, yahoo, email or phone us on a daily basis. I figured they would have gotten tired of this by now...thought it was another "false front" but we have known them a month and they still are doing it. Just weird to us I guess....since it has been making Gabe & I talk and evaluate our friendships we have. We are wondering if our friends are really our friends or just acquaintances that want us when they want something. Who knows. I hate worrying about such stuff. I just dont know what to do. Gabe tells he wants to cut some ties but I still want these couples as friends because I like them. But I guess I can see his point. Who knows. Maybe someone could give me their feedback?
Thanks
xoxox
Rose
I know lots of people are busy and doing other things thats why I think its rude to try to talk to "invite" myself over but Jenn & mike have always been great at inviting us or asking to hang and such and vice versa with us.
I just wish that we could hang out with others the same way. But Gabe & I both agree that we are sick of trying to be friends with people that apparently only want you around when its in their best interest or when its "conveient" for them.
I figured good friends are willing to txt, call, email, or hang with you without you having to constantly be the ones to try to make the friendship work. Gabe has felt the same way for awhile and brought it up to me. Said that he feels like a loose end with a few of our relationships. Hell we are apart of a group and have no interest anymore attending the events because of that reason. He tells me he wants quality time with people that actually want to be our friend not just an acquaintance which some of our friends are. I agree with him. It feels pretty empty to have to say "can we come over" and things like that to push to be apart of their lives. If people want to be friends shouldn't they do 50% of the work in the relationship to make it work.
I know a lot of times I have been a shitty friend because I open my mouth up and am too blunt for many but I have never had any problems with people saying Rose that hurt my feelings or please apology etc. Thats what friends do. Tell you when you fuck up so you can make it better.
But if I'm just a fuck, a friend when someone has time, etc it gets tiresome. I want more quality friendships but I think thats a rare gem now days.
Don't get me wrong I really care about our friends we have. I just dont know what to do. I want to still be their friends but Gabe keeps telling me we should cut ties with these people until they can decide they want to be our friends and not someone that will see you every few months or will call you when they want a booty call after weeks of not talking to you online etc. I know everyone gets busy and can't see you all the time but there are other means to stay in touch right?
You can either pick up the phone and for those that aren't phone people txt me on my phone, txt me on chat service or hell drop me an email from time to time.
I dont expect anyone to be in contact every day with us but how is that I might get a Yahoo IM from a couple after not hearing from them for 4 weeks. Come on...call me a friend but do that...makes us feel we aren't worth the time. We want quality NOT quanitity.
Now if people are reading that they can make all defenses to those that dont get back to their friends for months or dont see them for months.
But tell me this...if you live in the same city and even if you can't get out to see your friend...can you not invite them over or contact them in anyway?
I thought to myself this was normal even though Gabe said that the whole situation sucks with our friends. I never had to many friends growing up cuz I was the "nerd". So thought maybe this is how relationships go and friends that do 50% of the work or see you on a consistant basis were a "fairytale" but I can't honestly say that now.
My friend Jen txts me everyday from her work regardless how busy she is...sometiems can't talk long but she does. She invites me up for lunches or to hang out with the kids at the park with her shit like that. Her husband Mike invited me to go start working out with him at the gym on his days off. They invite us over for dinner. They invite us for movies. They either txt, yahoo, email or phone us on a daily basis. I figured they would have gotten tired of this by now...thought it was another "false front" but we have known them a month and they still are doing it. Just weird to us I guess....since it has been making Gabe & I talk and evaluate our friendships we have. We are wondering if our friends are really our friends or just acquaintances that want us when they want something. Who knows. I hate worrying about such stuff. I just dont know what to do. Gabe tells he wants to cut some ties but I still want these couples as friends because I like them. But I guess I can see his point. Who knows. Maybe someone could give me their feedback?
Thanks
xoxox
Rose