Okay, inspired by @ryker , I am leaving my own semi-long joke. Not religious, but hopefully entertaining...
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A man and woman are eating in a restaurant in a booth against the wall when they see a Panda walk into the restaurant and get seated at a table in the middle of the dining room.
As they watch the Panda order then eat, the man begins to look nervous. As the panda finishes his meal, the man hurriedly begs the woman to hide under the table with him.
Just at that moment, the panda puts down his eating utensils and brings out two pistols and proceeds to fire around into the entire restaurant. Once the guns are empty, the panda drops them and walks out.
"OH MY GOD!" the woman exclaims, "HOW did you know he was going to do that??!!"
"Well," the man explains," I was looking at the internet on my phone and happened across the Wikipedia entry for pandas…"
He shows the entry to the woman, of which the top line reads the following:
"Pandas - Native to China - Eats, shoots and leaves"
