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ayla

Do they still call it Motown?

Member Since 2004

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Monday Aug 30, 2004

Aug 30, 2004
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{music}: The Cure - Just Like Heaven
{mood}: somewhere between wishful and breaking

I ran across one of my old journals earlier. Yeah, I've kept them. This one was for stories and random thoughts, rather than a log of daily events. When I wrote this, I was 17, summer of 2001. A summer I'd as soon rather forget than remember. Depression galore. I was reading this, and it's amazing how I still keep the same view of it...despite the fact that I was still a child and knew nothing.

The "perfect" man for me
He would be around my age, if not a couple of years older than me, and gone through a lot of things in life because people who've dealt with a lot have a tendancy to be more mature than most, and have little tolerence for stupidity. He'll be very intelligent, but won't flaunt it or rub it in my face. He'll be creative, and love to make people laugh, or just feel better. He won't be TOO irresponsible. It'd be nice if he was a poet or some sort of writer. And he wouldn't be afraid to be himself or speak his mind. Spontenaity would be a plus as well. He would be a bit crazy, but not to a dangerous extent. He'll be original in every form. And, he'll love to read. He would dress cool, and not care if he was setting or following a trend. He would be sarcastic, so I could have a good argument. And would tolerate my moods because not too many are willing. He would suprise me with a single rose - that can be so much sweeter than a dozen - and other little things because he remembered a bit of what I like. He wouldn't lie (to me!), and be open to communication and change. He would be a bit taller than me, have dark hair, dark eyes, and built nice. It'd be nice if he was Puerto Rican or Italian. And he'd have a cool name. He wouldn't get into trouble with the law and would be considerate of others in every aspect. He would stand up for what's right. He won't do drugs or drink. He'd have a good taste in music. He'd be a goofball. He'd have decent friends. He'd look out for his future and his best interest as well as everyone elses. He'd always surprise me with tiny acts of kindness.

Now I've been single for nearly a year now. And I'm starting to feel the emotional effects of it. Where is this guy, now that I need him most?

And why do I think I've found him, when I know I haven't?

Oh yeah, I'm finally bringing back the music mood thingy....because I felt like it I guess.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
morbidangel:
I'm sad... You went down to San Deigo and probably passed within a mile of my house, AND YOU DIDN'T STOP AND SAY HI!! frown
I'm all right... A few years of therapy and crying myself to sleep at night will mend the shattered pieces of my heart. That or you coming over for some BBQ. Either one. smile
Aug 31, 2004
zappagonzo:
That sounds like me except I'm an artist not a poet and I'm not Puerto Rican or Italian. I'm English, GErman, Irish and Polish. biggrin I have been single for too long and it's making me cynical.
Aug 31, 2004

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