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ayin

Salton City (is a waste of salt)

Member Since 2003

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Tuesday Apr 15, 2003

Apr 14, 2003
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Funny things to do at your funeral:
1. Have the morrtitian put latex zombie make up on your face so it looks like you are already rotting.
2. or, Make a video tape on your death bed and ask for them to play it at your funeral. Start with, "If you're watching this I'm dead..." and after a very sappy speech say, "...but I thought you would all like to know what it's going to be like down their.." and cut to a documentary on the processs of rigor mortus.
3. Get fake zombie hands from the halloween store, have them sticking up at ou in front of your head stone.
4. Instead of hurse, get an old beater redneck-truck with an open bed in the back, and have your coffin placed in the truck bed for the funeral precetion. Put a loud speaker in the back, an play the theme song "Sanford and Son." Paint the words "gone to see Elizabeth" on the side of the truck.
4. Have The Doors' "The End", L7's "Pretend we're Dead" and Queen' "Another one bites the dust." playing loudly on friends car stereo of in the distance.
5. Have an open casket funeral, but don't have your corpse put in the box until some one comes out from back with it slung over their shoulder, an slams down violent into the coffin in front everyone. Have this same person give the eulogy and act bored and confused the whole time.
6. Have an open casket funeral, put open the part that shows you're feet open instead of your head.
7. Have an open casket funeral, have your corpse be placed face down in the caskett.
8. Have an open caskett funeral, but have you're corpse dressed in full drag. (This is probably a lot funnier on men.)
9. Have a closed caskett funeral, but instal a motr and a tape recorder in to the caskett so that shakes back and forth and quietly makes groaning sounds and cries for help. Have the preacher kick the caskett several times and tell you to "Shut the hell up!"
10. If you are catholic, have sun glasses and a hawiian shirt put on Jesus body on the crucifix.
11. Have someone pass out dramamine, barf bags, or novelty condoms to every one before the funeral starts.
12. Have the preacher pass trhe collection plate around and angle for donations during the eulogy.
13. Have the ball bearers dress like the secrwet service. Have them carry walkie talkies over which banter can be heard, and have them milling around doing seccuraty checks dusing the whole funeral.
14. Have them play "The Cha-Cha" as you're coffin is descending into the ground.

Have Fun!

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