Finally it stopped raining! The weather was all yucko-sucko all week
. I'm so sick of it! THe weather never makes it's mind up! The movers came today. I had to get up early and hang out with the dogs because they were going ape shit. Their was nothing on but these E! True Hollywood Stories about a bunch of fiftees B-movie/ Sitcom actors I don't give a damn about. What would AJ Benza do with his life if it wasn't for that show? I'm he's like perfect for it: it's his purpose in life.
The movers coming finally made me really realize we're moving. I mean like, I've understood that intelectually for months, but not emotionally, you know what I mean? I still don't even feel like this place was ever a home, and I lived here for three years. I don't know what I'm going to do. According to my teacher, every part of your body refelcts a part of your mind. If I was born with cerbal palsy affecting my right leg, then that means I am insecure about were my life is headed. But how could that have been true my whole life? I must have screwed up BAD last time around. So I have to get out of here: But where the hell am I going to go? Not film School. I think that's wrong know. But then where? Well, wherever it is, no more bullshit; No more "waiting for Godeua"; I just have to build all my shit up from the world around me, whether it's harsh or not. We've moved so many times, and I never felt at home hardly anywhere, but this time I just have make myself make it work, weather I leave my parents with hardly anything (very possibly an option) or not. I am at peace now with the fact that everything is how it needs to be for me to achieve what I'm trying to achieve by the appropriate age and then...relax...(sad at that...concept though I am) But the only way to do that is use all my energy and start getting shit done NOW!

The movers coming finally made me really realize we're moving. I mean like, I've understood that intelectually for months, but not emotionally, you know what I mean? I still don't even feel like this place was ever a home, and I lived here for three years. I don't know what I'm going to do. According to my teacher, every part of your body refelcts a part of your mind. If I was born with cerbal palsy affecting my right leg, then that means I am insecure about were my life is headed. But how could that have been true my whole life? I must have screwed up BAD last time around. So I have to get out of here: But where the hell am I going to go? Not film School. I think that's wrong know. But then where? Well, wherever it is, no more bullshit; No more "waiting for Godeua"; I just have to build all my shit up from the world around me, whether it's harsh or not. We've moved so many times, and I never felt at home hardly anywhere, but this time I just have make myself make it work, weather I leave my parents with hardly anything (very possibly an option) or not. I am at peace now with the fact that everything is how it needs to be for me to achieve what I'm trying to achieve by the appropriate age and then...relax...(sad at that...concept though I am) But the only way to do that is use all my energy and start getting shit done NOW!