The reality of the fact that that I've moved again finally dawned on me last night. When a structure is missing in my life, I'm scared out my wits 
. I mean, just terrified, literally: I become reactionary, mean, fetishistic, my right leg tenses back up and my limp gets worse, I get OCD as hell and mutter to myself, I flood myself in an ungoldly amount of work (which has structure) to avoid thinking about it...its a viscious cycle. Then, when I get the feeling the structure has "come back", or I get tired of doing that (which only takes about three weeks or so usually), I force myself to go out and build a new structure for myself in which to function.
I know I have complete control of myself, though, because, like I said, I've always forced myself to get back on top before too long. But 'before too long' is about two steps from 'way too long', you know? Not this time, though
. I have full faith in myself that I can and will build my life back up to what I want it to be....even if it does mean improvising structures and guidelines through mostly unknown territory for a while...or forever.
What things about your personality do you find most negative?
How have you learned to overcome them?
-___________________ 
. I mean, just terrified, literally: I become reactionary, mean, fetishistic, my right leg tenses back up and my limp gets worse, I get OCD as hell and mutter to myself, I flood myself in an ungoldly amount of work (which has structure) to avoid thinking about it...its a viscious cycle. Then, when I get the feeling the structure has "come back", or I get tired of doing that (which only takes about three weeks or so usually), I force myself to go out and build a new structure for myself in which to function.
I know I have complete control of myself, though, because, like I said, I've always forced myself to get back on top before too long. But 'before too long' is about two steps from 'way too long', you know? Not this time, though
. I have full faith in myself that I can and will build my life back up to what I want it to be....even if it does mean improvising structures and guidelines through mostly unknown territory for a while...or forever.
What things about your personality do you find most negative?
How have you learned to overcome them?
-___________________ VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I don't like the idea that one shouldn't write about scary aspects of the world without having some positive thing involved. There are things that happen in the world that are horrible and scary and are NEVER resolved. People should be able to write about these things.
So instead of "where does the picture stop and the subject start", I want those two things to be intertwined by nature.