axisofpudding

hi. how are you? remember me? i'm jacob. i think we met at that one party held by a mutual acquaintance of ours. yeah, you were pretty drunk by the time i got there, so i don't blame you for not remembering me. although i hope you got that stain out, that was a pretty cool shirt.

enough of that crap. hi. first off: no, i don't know why i don't update more. and no, i don't know if this means i'll be updating more in the future. what am i, psychic?

three things which are sort of related: i don't know why, but my body's been wanting me to eat more lately. not that i've been eating less, but my body seems to want more. damn me for being half bear! eat and sleep, eat and sleep, that's all my body wants lately! so i've been eating salad like it's the key to immortality. haha! take that, body! you want me to get blobby and furry and shit in the woods, but i've thwarted you!! haha! also, i recently decided i enjoy chipotle ranch dressing. but it's too expensive for this cheapskate, so i've got the Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch, which is okay, but not as good. oh well. and thirdly, Thousand Island as a salad dressing is dead to me. henceforth, it shall only be a dip, used occasionally, without enthusiasm.

three other things which are sort of related: Chuck Norris, Jesus Christ, and Chewbacca the Wookiee.

so, the real reason i'm updating this, is to show you something. some of you may have seen it before, some of you have not. all of you should watch, and afterwards change your underwear. it's in two parts just to be difficult, and SG won't let me post the videos, so bear with me.

part one:
(edit: videos removed by BBC. well damn)

part two:
(edit: videos still removed by BBC. move on, nothing to see here)

you may now change your underwear.