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This is night number 5 of drillin a hole. Its actually hard to stay alert for so many nights and keep my mind clear. Its weird cause how many nights have I stayed up all night chasing a high at a club or dancing the night away at a rave. I have come to some conclusions about myself, which is why I took this job in the first place; to reflect on what I have been doing for the past 22 years. Here are some of them.

- I am a trend chaser. I let others set the trend and I ride it out. Am I going to be wearing Quicksilver, riding Ride and being alt. when I am 40? Or, like others gone before me am I gonna be wearing a suit of my career and letting my job and life rule what I do.

-I am scared. Not of things or people but of failing. I am so scared of not living up to the expectations that I percive others have for me. In reality I shouldnt fear anything but not letting myself live.

-I am a prude. Not the kind that looks down on other people for doing things that I dont agree with, but looking down on myself for wanting to do those things. Like tatoos and piercings. Not that I dont want to change my body, its just that what will others think of me if I do.

I am interested what everyone has to say. Leave a comment if you want.