avrora

I am a little proud that I am cool with most of my ex, with sme of them we are still good friends. I think that even if it was not possible to be a good couple we are still have something in common and when all the pain and fire of parting is gone it is okay to keep in touch.

There is just one person I did not make it cool after broke up. I was 18, I was very bitchy and I told so many shit to this guy so even after all of this years I am still ashamed. I told so much things none should tell to someone, but I really wanted him hurt. So I did. After some time I realized how wrong I am so I felt sorry and I wanted to apologize.

No need to say it was impossible. I did not want us to be a good friends or something but I wanted him to know I was wrong acting like a bitch. I said "sorry" many times but he told me to go to hell. Well, I kept this situation in my soul many years after and tryed to say "sorry" again, but had no luck.

When we feel bad after doing something wrong we want to be apologized not just because we realizing a wrong thing was done but because if we are forgiven it makes us feel better. Like it make a shit undo somehow. To pay a damage we made for ourself.

So I learned my lesson and eventually I closed that gestalt. I do not want him to forgive me loooong time... but since that I watch my mouth more carefully. Hurting someone also hurts our own souls.

@rambo @missy